think before you post

A lot of people get in trouble by saying things they shouldn't on facebook, twitter, etc. It's easy to rant in a status update, or tweet in the moment of anger. Sometimes we can delete our comments before it's too late & we've hurt someone's feelings. Sometimes we never even realize what we've said is inappropriate.

[ see update below regarding referenced photo ]

I have seen this photo posted several times by my friends on facebook. I understand the humor behind it; however, let's think about what we're posting before we do it. Think about the potential adopted children who might see you laughing at this joke. As a mother of an adopted daughter, I hope she is NEVER the butt of a joke like this. Adoption is not something to be ashamed of, or upset about, or embarrassed by. Adoption is a beautiful thing, and it is the means by which God has made us His children.

Am I over-analyzing this supposedly humorous poster? Probably. Do I think less of the people who post this image & think it is funny? Definitely not. I understand the whole "I told my little brother he is adopted and he believes me" joke. But that is child's humor. If you are a child, then by all means, laugh at that joke. But as an adult, you should see the inappropriateness. I am sure I sound like a stick-in-the-mud to some of you. Normally I am not so sensitive about jokes like this. I just want to make people aware of the feelings that might be hurt by something like this. Adoption is obviously a sensitive subject to me, and I just want us to all think about things like this before we post them. In a world where so many are becoming aware of cyber-bullying, and real-life bullying, let's not support ugly jokes like this one. In fact, let's be even less specific and just try not to post anything that might be hurtful to someone; regardless of the subject matter.

I know I need to work on that.

"Therefore encourage one another and build each other up..." ~ 1 Thessalonians 5:11

:: UPDATE ::


I received a comment on this post from the person pictured in the photo. Because of his story (click here to read) I have removed the photo. Just know that it was a photo that poked fun at adoption. If you know what photo I'm referring to; great. If not, then just take the message & intent of this post and run with it. ;-)

Dead End

From the Purpose Driven Life Daily Devotional...

How God Builds Your Faith: Dead End

by Rick Warren

“At that time we were completely overwhelmed, the burden was more than we could bear, in fact we told ourselves that this was the end. Yet we believe now that we had this experience of coming to the end of our tether that we might learn to trust, not in ourselves, but in God who can raise the dead” (2 Corinthians 1:8-9 PH).

When the pursuit of your dream deteriorates from difficult to impossible; when the situation looks hopeless, congratulations! You’re in good company.

Even Paul went through dead ends: “At that time we were completely overwhelmed, the burden was more than we could bear, in fact we told ourselves that this was the end. Yet we believe now that we had this experience of coming to the end of our tether that we might learn to trust, not in ourselves, but in God who can raise the dead” (2 Corinthians 1:8-9 PH).

If God can raise people physically, He can raise people who are dead emotionally. He can raise a dead marriage. He can resurrect a dead career. He can resurrect you from a health problem. If God can raise the dead, He can do anything.

In Abraham’s situation, God said, “I want you to become the father of a nation,” but then Abraham had to wait until he was 99 years old before he had his first child. The Bible shows Abraham’s situation going from difficult to impossible. He looks at his body and says, “No way!” Then he looks at his wife and says, “Double no way!”

But Sarah got pregnant and they laughed about it. When the baby was born, they named him Isaac, which means laughter.

God often lets problems become impossibilities. The disciples planned to follow Jesus. They thought He was the Messiah, but then the next thing they know Jesus is hanging on the cross, dying. Was this a dead end for the disciples? For three days it seemed that way, but then Jesus walked out of the tomb.

When you face a dead end, you may start asking, “What’s going on, God? Did I miss Your will? Your plan? Have I missed Your vision?” Keep in mind that dead ends are part of God’s plan for you.

What’s the best response to a dead end? “He has delivered us from such a terrible death, and He will deliver us; we have placed our hope in Him that He will deliver us again” (2 Corinthians 1:10 HCSB).

stormy emotions

I had a bad day today.

I was late to work. I had several unexpected tasks come up at work that prevented me from accomplishing what I hoped to accomplish. We had a company lunch that was split into two shifts, and I got left behind. When I got home from work, Toby had red dirt all over his paws & was running around the house with his filthy self. But the worst part of the day was when I had some "moments" {I have those sometimes - moments of frustration/sadness/etc} and I realized that my emotions were out of control. At least, I thought they were out of control. I prayed for God to take them over, and he did. Then, when I got home & checked my e-mail today, I read this devotional from Sarah's Laughter and it made me realize that God really can control my emotions if I let him.

Raging Storms

“Who then is this, that He commands even the winds and the water, and they obey Him?”
Luke 8:25

Has your faith died since the moment your baby died? Have you found your faith decreasing along with your hormone levels? If this is the hurt of your heart, listen as Jesus says to your storm, “Peace, be still.” He doesn’t rebuke you for your doubt. He rebukes the doubt. The same word and the same Word that calmed the storm for the disciples that night can calm your storm and bring you peace.

You may feel that you have not only lost your baby, but you’ve lost control. You tried everything you could to ensure a safe development for your baby, but something went horribly wrong. You couldn’t control how the embryo divided. You couldn’t control the tiny heartbeat. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t control your blood pressure or your hormone levels. Now, you struggle to control emotions bouncing around your chest like a million ping-pong balls. You just can’t seem to regain control of anything. Your storm is out of control.

Good news, friend. The storm isn’t really out of control. It’s just that it’s not under your control. Look at the flabbergasted reply of Jesus’ shipmates the day He stepped to the edge of the boat and calmed their storm with just a word:

“Who then is this, that He commands even the winds and the water, and they obey Him?”

These guys were no neophytes. They had already witnessed so much of what Jesus could do, but when He slapped the waves down with only a word from the Word, He stopped them dead in their doubting tracks! Who is this Jesus? This Jesus is the Prince of Peace who calms your angry tempest with only His voice. He’s the same Jesus who knows you’ll survive this storm whether you know you will or not. He’s the same Jesus who brings His peace to you. Peace that passes all understanding and simply doesn’t make sense considering the situation you find yourself in is yours for the taking. Never worry that He’ll run out of patience with you. Because of the Lord’s mercies that are new every morning, we are not consumed. (Lamentations 3:22-23 KJV) Are you afraid that even the Prince of Peace is not enough to speak peace to your hurt? Worry no more. His grace is sufficient and His strength is perfected in your weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9).

This is the Jesus who calms your storm.

angels in the office

I'm having a bad day. And I think God recognized that, so he said hello to me via these flowers from one of our producers in the office who just wanted to say thanks for all my work. :-)

writer's block

I am having a hard time coming up with anything to blog about that isn't related to my miscarriage. Hopefully soon I will have some more enjoyable posts for my readers. Please hang in there with me for awhile!

I wanted to share this e-mail I got today. I found this website, Sarah's Laughter, which provides support for infertility and loss. I registered to receive their "Daily Double Portion" e-mails. So far, just about every one I have received has spoken to me in a different way. Anyway, I felt the urge to share this one from today...

A Glorious Reunion
2 Samuel 12:23
I will go to him...

If you are one who has lived through the horror of the death of your baby, Sarah’s Laughter offers you our most heartfelt condolences. Maybe no one ever told you they were sorry you lost your baby. We are so very sorry. We are sorry that you lost your baby, and we are so sorry that others have not recognized your hurt. If there is anything this ministry can do for you, please do not hesitate to let us know.

Even in the face of such a devastating loss, there is great encouragement and understanding for you found within the pages of Scripture. God knew you would search for answers to the questions that bounce around your heart like a million ping-pong balls. Perhaps the most vivid example we have of someone surviving the death of a precious baby is found in the life of David.
If someone asked you who David was, what would you say? Would you call him a giant-killer? A king? A scoundrel? A man who danced before the Lord with all might? A man after God’s own heart?

A grieving parent?

In 2 Samuel we see a portrait of grief hanging on the walls of David’s home. He is facing the imminent death of his baby, and is stricken with pain only a bereaved parent can know. The prophet Nathan has told him that God has revealed the baby will die, and although David does all he knows to do to change God’s mind, in only seven short days, David’s baby slips into eternity.

What about your baby. Did you know death was inevitable, or did it sneak up on like an unwanted companion? No doubt, you begged and pleaded with God for the life of your child. How your story parallels David’s!

David’s baby has died. There is no going back. There are no more doctors to call, no more treatments to try. The baby’s life on earth is completed. What does David do? What did you do?

Somehow through his grief, David found the road to recovery, and began to walk in it right away.

Scripture tells us that when David was alerted of the passing of his baby, he arose from the ground where he laid, wept and prayed, he washed himself and changed his clothes. Then he did the most amazing--and perhaps the hardest thing. David worshiped.

How was David able to enter into the worship of the Lord? This is the same Lord who could have changed His mind and saved David’s baby, but chose not to. How could David worship?
I believe the answer lies in 2 Samuel 12:23. It’s a profound truth found in only five words:

I will go to him...

God surely pulled back the curtains of time for David and revealed to him just a smidgen of His plan for humanity. We know that Jesus went to prepare a place for us so that we can be with Him for eternity. David lived centuries before the cross and the empty tomb. He had no way to know that God had planned eternal reunions with lost loves.

Somehow, David knew he would see his baby again. It wasn’t a cliche to David. He knew-in reality-he would see this baby again. Not another baby that he and his wife would soon conceive. Not a child born to him at another point in his life. He knew that he would see this baby again. The unuttered promise of a glorious reunion with his baby made this painful, but temporary, period of separation bearable.

When your heart aches for your baby, remind yourself that as a child of God, you will see your baby again. Not for a moment. Not until death steals him/her away again. Thank God that death will never enter Heaven’s gates! You can be reunited with your baby and with your God for eternity! All that is required is the salvation freely offered you at the foot of Calvary.

When you arrive in heaven, perhaps you’ll sit down for a while with David. Maybe you’ll share how your hearts broke. He’ll tell you what it was like to see his child again. You can tell him what it was like to see yours. Together, with the children you’ve both loved and lost, you can join with David, the master musician, and and pen a new song. You’ll add a verse. Your child can dance as you all sing the praises of our Heavenly Father for all eternity.

What a beautiful song.

(c) 2008 Sarah’s Laughter-Christian Support for Infertility & Child Loss

not-so-random acts of kindness

Last Monday, as I was thoroughly enjoying my newfound freedom in my Mondays off, I went to check the mail. Usually we know what to expect in the mail, but that day I had an unexpected package. The return address was some place in Canada, so I was definitely confused. {Did I order something online & forget about it? That’s always fun cause it’s like getting a present! Even though I paid for it…I digress.} I went inside & thoughts of “don’t open any suspicious packages! Anthrax!” went through my head. Of course I opened it anyway. There was a small jewelry bag wrapped in bubble wrap. {Ok, now I am definitely confused because I know I haven’t ordered any jewelry.} Inside the bag was this necklace:



And this card with the sweetest poem:


I immediately started bawling. This was the sweetest thing anyone has done for me since the miscarriage! I looked through the small package to see who it was from, and finally found a card with a note from my good friends Judy & Stacy. Stacy had a miscarriage during her second pregnancy, and someone had given her a similar necklace, and she talked to Judy about it…you get the idea. I was so touched. I’ll admit, at first I wasn’t sure if I would wear the necklace much, as I am always concerned about coordinating my jewelry with my outfits {superficial, I know, but it’s true}. But I have worn the necklace every day since I got it, as a reminder of the beautiful life that once was inside me. Thank you, friends, for my lovely gift! {Click here for the jewelry artist’s website – she also makes memorial jewelry, baby jewelry, and custom jewelry!}

And while I’m on that note, I should share my two other favorite gestures from friends during this difficult time. First of all, I should point out that every single card, e-mail, Facebook message, text message, phone call, blog comment, flower arrangement, and even gift card that we got meant so much to us. I will always have memories of how much love has been poured over us during this time. It is SO encouraging! Ok, back to the two other favorite gestures. The night of my D&C: Ashley cooked dinner for us. I know this sounds like a small gesture, but I cannot express to you how much this meant! I have never had a “thinking of you” meal cooked for me, and now I know how helpful they are. I had an especially rough time that day because I had to spend about 6 hours longer at the hospital than I expected, due to a long wait for my doctor…long story. Point is, I should have gotten home by 1:00 & I got home after 6:00. Ashley cooked THE BEST comfort food EVER – poppyseed chicken casserole, green bean casserole, Sister Schubert’s rolls, and chocolate chip cookies. YUM. MERS. I wasn’t supposed to eat “real” food that night but I snuck in a few bites because I couldn’t resist. J Third favorite gesture: a woman from my small group ordered a book for me titled Grieving the Child I Never Knew by Kathe Wunnenberg. This is a GREAT book for people who have had miscarriages, stillborns, or infant loss. The author uses scripture, short prayers, introspective questions, personal stories, and journaling to walk you through the grieving process. It’s written like a devotional book, to be read small sections at a time. It is wonderful! I highly recommend it.

The point of this post is for two purposes: (1) To share with you all the wonderful acts of kindness that I’ve experienced through my family and friends, and (2) To give you ideas of what you can do when you have a friend or family member who goes through a similar experience and you don’t know what to do for them. If you can’t afford to send a flower arrangement, or order a book or piece of jewelry; or if you don’t have time to cook a meal; a simple card or e-mail that just says “I’m praying for you & I love you” speaks volumes. Seriously. I will forever cherish ALL of the precious gestures that everyone has sent us! I love you all!

{A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. ~Proverbs 17:17}