the tod life.

So...I have a toddler. I've had a "toddler" for over a year now, technically. But in the past few weeks, my sweet child has suddenly realized that she is supposed to be donning the "terrible twos" phase of her childhood.

She is embracing it well.

When we got back from our last vacation of the summer, about a month ago, our sweet angel started a new phase. I like to call it, "Pull My Hair Out One Strand At A Time". Her nighttime sleep was suddenly becoming sporadic, as were her afternoon naps. Usually for her, this means she is either: a) getting sick, b) going through a growth spurt, c) teething, or d) possessed by a demon. After a couple of weeks of the screaming-out-loud-at-two/four/six-in-the-morning, I took her to the doctor, to rule out "a" & "c". Which we did. And that is good - except it left a big question mark. What to do now? Her doc suggested that she is probably a little too young to be getting afraid of the dark/shadows/whatever. So...the mystery remained.

We decided to put her in a big girl bed, to see if maybe she was just tired of her crib. Negative. Although, I have to say, now that she isn't confined to a crib, she comes into our room when she wakes up, and honestly that is slightly less stressful than the screaming coming through the monitor. It has its pros & cons. Anyway - she is doing GREAT in her big girl bed, and she loves it!!

But, the problem of waking up in the wee hours of the morning remains. During the first couple of weeks of this, I have to admit, I was super stressed about it. We felt blindsided, since our sweet pea has always been such a great sleeper. Take the element of surprise, add to it the sleep deprivation, and then the sinus infection from hades, and I was one frustrated mama. I did not react well. I whined & complained all over facebook & twitter. I probably had people hide me from their walls or defriend me. If you follow me, let me apologize now for my whiny-ness! Honestly. I was worse than my 2 1/2 year old.

Then it hit me. This is clearly out of my control. We tried so many different tactics, with no success. I am such a control freak, and this was something I was determined to FIX. She WILL sleep through the night, and I WILL make her do it. Speaking of a strong-willed child...I may or may not be one myself. :-)

Yes, I had been praying about it. Sometimes out of desperation, sometimes from selfishness, but really - I did pray about it from a legitimate concern for the health of my child. But you see, while I was praying, I was still trying to control it. As I do in so many other areas of my life, especially in the genre of parenting. Control is just NOT the answer.

I now officially give up.

I give up looking for the solution. I give up searching for the answer. I give up trying to MAKE her sleep "correctly". I give up trying to MAKE her behave like a child who doesn't pitch a fit on the floor. I. Give. Up.

No, I don't mean I am giving up parenting. I am still the parent, and she is still my child, and I will still struggle with teaching her to obey me. That is part of being a parent of a toddler. But, I am no longer trying to CONTROL how she acts.

Does that make sense? I cannot CONTROL her. She is not a robot. She is a human being. She has a beautiful spirit, and an independence that will one day make me proud, if it doesn't kill me. :-)

My goals are:

Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it. ~Proverbs 22:6

Do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. ~Ephesians 6:4

It doesn't say, "Make your kids behave how they are SUPPOSED to behave." It says to train your child to obey the Lord. WOWZA. How I have NOT been doing that!

So now, I will change MY attitude, as I attempt to teach my child what an appropriate attitude is. Sleep will come later.

Maybe. :-)

Footnote: For those who are wondering what we are currently doing to get Natalie to sleep at night (although it still isn't uninterrupted), here is our current tactic. We created a new bedtime routine that consists of Goodnight Moon in her bed, a prayer in her bed, and then lights out. She has a new nightlight - the Twilight Ladybug - and LOVES it. One of us stays in the room with her until she falls asleep. We figured out that, for whatever reason, she doesn't want to go to sleep alone. So, every time she goes to bed, wakes up during the night, and goes down for a nap, one of us is in the room with her until she falls asleep. We don't have to rock her, or pat her back, or even be in the bed with her. As long as someone is in the room with her, she's good. Whatever, right? :-) Hopefully this is a transitional phase & she will soon be sleeping like a champ again.

my neverending storage bench saga.

If you remember my storage bench review for CSN Stores (now Wayfair), I had to amend my review based on poor craftsmanship & poor customer service. Well, it seems this tale has no end. I contacted Wayfair about this bad experience, and, surprisingly, received a prompt response from them. They apologized for my bad experience, and graciously offered to send me a replacement bench. Well, I had no idea where I was going to put another bench, but of course I accepted their offer! The bench is no longer offered in white, so I ordered the black bench. We need more storage space around this house, so I was starting to get excited about the prospect of having another place to stash my junk. :-) We promptly received our bench, and a few months later Baron assembled it. As soon as he put it together, he could already tell we were going to have the same problem we did with the first one. Sigh. So, after assembling 2 of these benches (which, BTW, takes about 2 hours...UGH.) and taking note of the poor craftsmanship of the lid, I can definitely say that I do NOT recommend this product. And to be honest, it leaves a bad taste in my mouth for Wayfair as well.

think before you post

A lot of people get in trouble by saying things they shouldn't on facebook, twitter, etc. It's easy to rant in a status update, or tweet in the moment of anger. Sometimes we can delete our comments before it's too late & we've hurt someone's feelings. Sometimes we never even realize what we've said is inappropriate.

[ see update below regarding referenced photo ]

I have seen this photo posted several times by my friends on facebook. I understand the humor behind it; however, let's think about what we're posting before we do it. Think about the potential adopted children who might see you laughing at this joke. As a mother of an adopted daughter, I hope she is NEVER the butt of a joke like this. Adoption is not something to be ashamed of, or upset about, or embarrassed by. Adoption is a beautiful thing, and it is the means by which God has made us His children.

Am I over-analyzing this supposedly humorous poster? Probably. Do I think less of the people who post this image & think it is funny? Definitely not. I understand the whole "I told my little brother he is adopted and he believes me" joke. But that is child's humor. If you are a child, then by all means, laugh at that joke. But as an adult, you should see the inappropriateness. I am sure I sound like a stick-in-the-mud to some of you. Normally I am not so sensitive about jokes like this. I just want to make people aware of the feelings that might be hurt by something like this. Adoption is obviously a sensitive subject to me, and I just want us to all think about things like this before we post them. In a world where so many are becoming aware of cyber-bullying, and real-life bullying, let's not support ugly jokes like this one. In fact, let's be even less specific and just try not to post anything that might be hurtful to someone; regardless of the subject matter.

I know I need to work on that.

"Therefore encourage one another and build each other up..." ~ 1 Thessalonians 5:11

:: UPDATE ::


I received a comment on this post from the person pictured in the photo. Because of his story (click here to read) I have removed the photo. Just know that it was a photo that poked fun at adoption. If you know what photo I'm referring to; great. If not, then just take the message & intent of this post and run with it. ;-)

the dynamics of vacation

dynamics, n. :: an underlying cause of change or growth.

Everything changes when you have a kid. I knew this before having a kid; everyone told me. Constantly. But I didn't really know it, until it happened. I will refrain from discussing just how many aspects of my life changed after introducing Natalie into it. But I will talk about how much vacations change with a kid. Especially with a toddler. :-)

We take a summer vacation every year with my dad's family. We go to Vogel State Park, nestled in the North Georgia Mountains. It's an awesome place. It has always been the most relaxing vacation that I personally take. You know - the kind where you actually don't feel like you need a vacation from your vacation? We stay in cabins, where there are no TVs. We eat a lot of food & take lots of naps. We read lots of books & play lots of board games & go on lots of walks. This picture doesn't do it justice, but typically this is the essence of the trip:

Two years ago, the "this is the most relaxing vacation EVER" aspect of this trip changed. That was the first year we had a child of our own with us. Now there are diapers to change, meals to struggle over, cousins to discipline, and naps to work around. But...there is a reward for all of that. It comes in the form of memories like these:

Basically, I love it. I love watching Natalie have a blast. She loves being outside, and she had so much fun! She was spoiled, of course, having so many family members around her. We had fun, just like we do every year!

Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to go pack for our week-long beach vacation with the other side of the family. Have I mentioned I love summer?! :-)

officially waiting

Did I mention we are officially "waiting to adopt"?

Yikes...that's actually a little scary. ;-)

[ Romans 8:28 ]