this one's for the ladies...

Alright ladies, it's that time of year once again!! I think we need to be reminded of a few things. So PLEASE, raise your big toe and recite the following pledge...

The Open-Toed Shoe Pledge

I pledge to follow the Rules when wearing sandals and other open-toe shoes:

I promise to always wear sandals that fit. My toes will not hang over and touch the ground, nor will my heels spill over the backs. And the sides and tops of my feet will not pudge out between the straps.

I will either go polish-free or vow to keep the polish fresh, intact and chip-free.

I will not cheat and just touch up my big toe.

I will sand down any mounds of skin before they turn hard and yellow.

I will shave the hairs off my big toe.

I won't wear pantyhose even if my misinformed girlfriend, coworker, mother, or sister tells me the toe seam really will stay under my toes if I tuck it there.

If a strap breaks, I won't duct-tape, pin, glue or tuck it back into place hoping it will stay put. I will get my shoe fixed or toss it.

I will not live in corn denial; rather I will lean on my good friend Dr. Scholl's if my feet need him.

I will resist the urge to buy jelly shoes at Payless for the low, low price of $4.99 even if my feet are small enough to fit into the kids' sizes. This is out of concern for my safety, and the safety of others. No one can walk properly when standing in a pool of sweat and I would hate to take someone down with me as I fall and break my ankle.

I will take my toe ring off toward the end of the day if my toes swell and begin to look like Vienna sausages.

I will be brutally honest with my girlfriend/sister/coworker when she asks me if her feet are too ugly to wear sandals. Someone has to tell her that her toes are as long as my fingers and no sandal makes creepy feet look good.

I will promise if I wear flip flops that I will ensure that they actually flip and flop, making the correct noise while walking and I will swear NOT to slide or drag my feet while wearing them.

I will promise to go to my local nail salon at least once per season and have a real pedicure (they are about $15 or 20 and worth EVERY penny).

I will promise to throw away any white/off-white sandals that show signs of wear... nothing is tackier than dirty white sandals.

Thank you.

a moment of silence, please.

MAXIMA, Nissan, 15, resident of Prattville, Alabama, died on Thursday, March 8th, 2007. After suffering a severe breakdown on Interstate 65 North just before exit 179 on Wednesday, "Maxi" was officially pronounced dead at Roger's Automotive, suffering from a blown head gasket. Maxi can be seen at Roger's this week for visits from family and friends. Visitation will be Monday - Friday, 8:00 am - 5:00 pm. Maxi is survived by her parents, Baron and Laura Goins, and brother Honda "Jaws" CR-V. Maxi will be buried at Seaman's Wrecker junkyard.

Yes, that's right. The Maxima is gone. She was my baby for 7 years before she bit the dust. So, we are currently in the market for a car to replace her. Please keep us in your prayers as we are about to gain a car payment, which is something we planned to avoid, hoping Maxi would last us long enough to save up for a car (which obviously didn't happen).

Special thanks to Brett & Judy for letting us borrow their Blazer!! They really saved us a lot of trouble. THANKS Y'ALL! :-)

just how bad do you have to go?

A couple of weeks ago, I was out shopping for bar stools for our house. I was making my 723rd stop for the day; I had just been to Flea Market Montgomery (it really IS just like a mini-mall) and I was making the trek down the shopping strip to Lin Imports. They were having a going-out-of-business sale, so I thought I'd check it out. Needless to say, I didn't have much luck. They had some great prices on coffee tables, but the bar stools were outrageously priced, as they were everywhere else I had been. Anyway, at the end of my browse around the store, I REALLY had to use the bathroom. So I asked the small Asian woman if they had a restroom. She simply pointed to a hallway behind the front desk. My first thought was that this was the employee restroom, since it was tucked away in a hidden corridor. But I had to go so bad that I didn't care. As I walked down the hallway decorated with giant silk magnolias and shiny brass-accented furniture, I passed 3 doors: a storage closet, the men's room, and finally, the ladies' room. I opened the door to find the following sight:

Wait a minute...this isn't a restroom. This is another storage closet! Those boxes have actual furniture in them. This is their inventory. I did, however, notice the stalls in the room, so I assumed this really was the restroom. I turned the corner into the first stall, looked down, and threw up in my mouth a little.

I mean, really? This is an actual restroom in a furniture store. I have used restrooms in truck stops that are cleaner than this. Of course, the other two stalls were filled with boxes, so this was the only available one. And guess what I did next? Yep, that's right. I used this toilet. No, of course I didn't put the seat down and sit on it. I wouldn't dare touch this disgusting excuse for a toilet. I hovered as far away from the commode as I could (although I probably could have peed all over the place & no one would notice). And when I flushed, I used my foot instead of my hand. I made a point not to touch a single thing in that restroom with any of my bare flesh.

So, if you want to head over to Lin Imports on the Southern Boulevard to catch some great deals, PLEASE go potty before you head that way. Or else you will also be subjected to the Water Closet of Doom.

my name is laura, and I am addicted to chapstick.

Yes, I have an addiction. Not to alcohol, or nicotine, or opiates. But to chapstick. My favorite scene in Napoleon Dynamite is when he called Kip and asked him to bring his chapstick because his "lips hurt really bad". I totally understand that. My lips really don't get chapped that often, but I just love the feeling of chapstick on them. So I have a stick at my desk (ok really two), one on my nightstand, one in my purse, one on my keychain, and several in my makeup bag.


So, considering this addiction, imagine my excitement when I walked to my desk this morning to find a co-worker with a large tub of chapsticks, passing them out to everyone in the office. It was like Christmas for me!! And when I got to my desk, she had given me THREE sticks! I hit the mother load. Apparently one of our producers wrote an account yesterday for Bahama Bo's, a distributor of sunblock, chapstick, and hand sanitizer. So I've been wearing this chapstick all morning and it is GREAT. I have no idea how much it costs in stores, but if you ever see it, pick one up! It's good stuff. It has aloe vera, beeswax, and vitamin E...and it has an SPF of 15.


Buy Bahama Bo's. It's da Bahama bomb! Sorry that was cheesy.

my latest exercise fad

If you are anything like me, you go through exercise phases. I used to walk, then I tried jogging & hated it, then I went back to walking, and then I joined Curves. I stayed at Curves for about a year & some change, until I decided to quit a couple of weeks ago. I loved working out there, and I loved the exercise routine, but I just got to that point again when I needed a change. So I decided to start walking again. But I didn't want to just walk - I wanted something to do to tone my muscles as well. Specifically, my midsection. Yes, that dreaded area of the body that all women obsess over. I've been through the back-and-forth relationship with crunches, and I really didn't want to go back there. So I decided to do something I'd though about for a few months now.

At the first Curves where I worked out, they had a station in the middle of the circuit that was optional. It was right in the middle, where everyone in the gym would be watching you if you decided to do it. It was...The Hoop. Erica knows what I'm talking about because she was there, too. It's a weighted hula hoop used for exercise. Let me tell you - it is one mean, rainbow-colored, tummy slimming machine. I did The Hoop for about a minute the first time I tried it, and I definitely felt it the next day. Ladies at that Curves testified to the effectiveness of The Hoop. So a few months ago, I entertained the idea of purchasing a hoop. I called our local Sports Authority to see if they sold any exercise hoops. Apparently they do not, as the lady I spoke with had no clue what I was talking about. So I called the Curves where I first discovered the hoop, and she directed me to the website where they can be purchased. Well, guess what? They are only $29.99! And shipping and handling is included! What a deal! Of course Baron was skeptical that this was a passing fad that I would get over. So I didn't purchase the hoop at that time. However, now that I have quit Curves and I am still convinced that this hoop will be the eliminator of my midsection flab, I convinced Baron to let me order one. I did the hoop today for 3 minutes straight. I know that doesn't sound like much, but I like to equate it to about a million crunches because it works your belly so much. Plus they say on the website not to use it for more than 3 minutes per day the first week.

So...say goodbye to my belly jelly!! Here comes the Acu-Hoop!!