my call to adopt.

In 2006, my husband & I decided to try to have a baby. Well...I decided, and I somehow convinced him. Because we were also building a house at the time, and "What if you get pregnant during the move...", yadda yadda. So I came off The Pill, and thus began the "trying". After a few months, we were starting to get a little antsy, but also knew that technically we weren't considered "struggling with infertility" until we'd been trying for a year.

I won't go into the details of the "trying" years (I have written about some of my struggles at the time); just know that it involved "home remedies", ovulation calendars, Clomid, ovulation tests, pregnancy tests, bloodwork, an HSG, testing for the hubs, unwelcomed advice from random people, and lots of crying. Most of my friends were getting pregnant & having babies, and I was not. It was a very difficult time, and I struggled spiritually & emotionally. Every time a friend announced she was pregnant, the bittersweet emotions I felt were so overwhelming, it exhausted me. I was genuinely happy for my friends - I really was. And yet I was also so discouraged that it wasn't me. It was tough, y'all.

In 2008, we decided to consider adoption. I won't lie: at this point, adoption was a back-up plan. It was my "I guess if I can't get pregnant, I need to consider adoption" plan. Don't get me wrong; I clearly felt as if God was calling us to adopt. But I also still strongly desired pregnancy, and would have been totally ok if God wanted to go on & proceed with our Plan A. Then, in 2009, I became pregnant, I found out I'd lost our baby, and we once again got back into the adoption process, only this time with more passion than before. I cannot put into words what happened to me between the pregnancy/miscarriage and the decision to once again pursue adoption, but I know it was God leading me, growing me, and assuring me that this was His Plan A.

Fast forward to 2014. I have two amazing children. God chose to send them to us through adoption, and each of their stories is beautiful. (Read about their stories, and our adoption journey, here.) Relationships formed with their birthmothers have blessed us more than we could have imagined. Technically, we are still infertile, since we have not gotten pregnant. But honestly, I do not long for pregnancy anymore. At some point in my journey, God turned my desire for pregnancy into a desire for a child. And that is when I realized that I wanted to be a mommy - not necessarily a pregnant woman. I said goodbye to pregnancy, and fully embraced adoption. It is my heart now. This is not to belittle the miracle of pregnancy & childbirth, but to highlight the beauty of motherhood, however it may come about.

God desires for us to take care of orphans, and I feel so inadequate, but want so badly to fulfill this desire He has for these children. If you are a believer in God's word, you know He wants you to love Him & love each other; act justly & love mercy; never stop praying. Taking care of orphans and widows fits perfectly with God's overall desire for us to pursue relationships that glorify Him. That is what God wants for all of us - to develop & nurture relationships that glorify Him. I won't try to argue that the bible specifically commands all Christians to adopt a child. I don't believe God has that plan for each & every one of us. But I do know that God loves adoption, He loves all of His children, and fostering/adopting children is such a beautiful way to express God's love for everyone.

Everyone's path is different. God does not make missionaries out of everyone; He does not send everyone to the inner city; and He does not make foster or adoptive parents out of everyone. But is He calling YOU to adopt or foster an orphan? And if He is, are you listening? What will you do about it?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

In writing this post, I came across this article, A Biblical Framework for Adoption. Please read it when you have the chance; I think you will enjoy it!

 



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Nightlight Christian Adoptions

Our adoption story was recently featured in the newsletter of our adoption agency, Nightlight Christian Adoptions. Our social worker asked me to write a short story for the winter newsletter, and of course, I had a hard time keeping it "short"! :-) Click on the image below to read the story; it begins at the bottom of page 2:

bittersweet chaos

The past month & a half has been a little chaotic for us, to say the least. ;-)

Let me sum it up for you in pictures:

Tyson Nolan H. just after birth, about to have an urgent heart catheterization

 Happy Halloween from the NICU at MUSC!

Trunk or Treat at a local church in Charleston

 Moved to the PCICU; this was taken a few days before the heart surgery

Happy birthday Baron!! Holding Tyson for the first time, the night before surgery.

Exploring Charleston

 Finally in a private room in the step-down unit

 Handsome.

 Happy Thanksgiving!

Sunset on the harbor

So happy to have family with us!

Granmama was so much help on this trip!!

There is always time for tickles.

 Going home from the hospital!!

 

 

One month old, and 2 days before heading HOME to Alabama!

I will post more about this wonderful adoption experience at a later time. We have been home from Charleston for almost two weeks now, and we are still adjusting to life with a newborn, and life with two kiddos. :-) Needless to say, spending over a month away from home - 8 hours away from home, to be exact - took its toll on me. More to come on that later. Right now I need to catch some zzz's before my next early-morning feeding. :-)

whirlwind.

Needless to say, ever since we found out we were chosen by a birth mother, my life has been a whirlwind. And it won't be slowing down for awhile. :-)

I think there is a reason God gave expecting mothers 9 months to prepare. Having only 3 weeks to get a house ready for a newborn is enough to put a mommy in a crazy house! Add to that the chaos of finding a place to stay in a town 8 hours away for 6-8 weeks, making arrangements for help with the toddler when she & the husband come back to town in a couple of weeks, beginning a relationship with my soon-to-be-son's birth mother, preparing my boss/co-workers for my extended absence, and attempting to savor the last moments at home with friends & family before being gone for awhile; and my brain is officially mush.

But, here I am, the night before our travel day, and I am almost ready. No, not almost ready to bring a baby home. { My house is a mess; the baby's clothes are stacked in his room because his dresser drawers are broken; I don't have newborn diapers; the nursery isn't finished...etc...} I just mean I am almost ready for our trip. Because honestly, I don't think I could manage this whole ordeal if I were trying to get ready for ALL of this at once. I am taking it one day at a time. Tonight, I will get ready for tomorrow's travel. Tomorrow, I will get ready to be in the delivery room for the birth of my son on Monday. Monday, I will get ready for the moments I intend to savor with my son & his birth mother while in the hospital together. Tuesday, I will get ready for the emotions that come when the birth mother signs her relinquishment papers. And all that time, in the back of my mind, I will be praying for my son to just be healthy. I will pray for him to breathe when he is born. I will pray for his blood to circulate. I will pray for the NICU nurses, the surgeon who will operate on him, and all of the people taking care of him while he is in surgery & recovering. I will also be praying for his birth mother, who is nervous, excited, anxious. Who is struggling with her broken relationship with her mother. I will attempt to encourage her, while refraining from saying "it will all work out", when I don't know that it will. I will try to be her friend, because she has none with her at this time.

Friends, this is a lot to deal with. I am an emotional girl anyway, and all of this is just completely overwhelming for me! The only way I am managing to drift through this is because I am relying on God. This is His plan anyway, so He knows what's going on. He is my strength, because I have none on my own. I am fragile & weak & way too emotional to handle this myself. The Joy of the Lord is my Strength. I have had to remind myself of that over & over during the past 3 weeks! The Joy of the Lord is my Strength.

The Joy of the Lord is my Strength.

(source)

matched!

So, I'll just get straight to the point:

We've been matched with a birth mother!!

We got a phone call on Monday that a birth mother has chosen us to adopt her sweet baby. She is a young African-American woman, and her baby boy is due November 4th! We are SO EXCITED!!!

Your prayers for our baby boy are coveted. He has a heart condition known as transposition of the great arteries. He will need surgery 5-10 days after birth to correct his condition. He will be in the hospital for 4-6 weeks after the surgery. Which means, we will have an extended stay in Charleston, SC, once he is born. There is also a chance the birth mother could be induced as early as October 23rd. We would love for little man to cook a little longer if possible! We need prayers for this sweet baby, for his birth mother, and for our sanity while we get ready & while we wait! Please, please pray for a safe & smooth delivery and surgery! Thank you all!!

Natalie is so excited to have a baby brother soon!!!

think before you post

A lot of people get in trouble by saying things they shouldn't on facebook, twitter, etc. It's easy to rant in a status update, or tweet in the moment of anger. Sometimes we can delete our comments before it's too late & we've hurt someone's feelings. Sometimes we never even realize what we've said is inappropriate.

[ see update below regarding referenced photo ]

I have seen this photo posted several times by my friends on facebook. I understand the humor behind it; however, let's think about what we're posting before we do it. Think about the potential adopted children who might see you laughing at this joke. As a mother of an adopted daughter, I hope she is NEVER the butt of a joke like this. Adoption is not something to be ashamed of, or upset about, or embarrassed by. Adoption is a beautiful thing, and it is the means by which God has made us His children.

Am I over-analyzing this supposedly humorous poster? Probably. Do I think less of the people who post this image & think it is funny? Definitely not. I understand the whole "I told my little brother he is adopted and he believes me" joke. But that is child's humor. If you are a child, then by all means, laugh at that joke. But as an adult, you should see the inappropriateness. I am sure I sound like a stick-in-the-mud to some of you. Normally I am not so sensitive about jokes like this. I just want to make people aware of the feelings that might be hurt by something like this. Adoption is obviously a sensitive subject to me, and I just want us to all think about things like this before we post them. In a world where so many are becoming aware of cyber-bullying, and real-life bullying, let's not support ugly jokes like this one. In fact, let's be even less specific and just try not to post anything that might be hurtful to someone; regardless of the subject matter.

I know I need to work on that.

"Therefore encourage one another and build each other up..." ~ 1 Thessalonians 5:11

:: UPDATE ::


I received a comment on this post from the person pictured in the photo. Because of his story (click here to read) I have removed the photo. Just know that it was a photo that poked fun at adoption. If you know what photo I'm referring to; great. If not, then just take the message & intent of this post and run with it. ;-)

officially waiting

Did I mention we are officially "waiting to adopt"?

Yikes...that's actually a little scary. ;-)

[ Romans 8:28 ]

an adoption update

Hi peeps!

I know, I haven't done a good job of keeping you updated. I was recently completing an online survey which asked, "Do you blog?" and I honestly felt bad answering "yes", because I do it so infrequently! I want to do better; really I do!

I have had several people ask me how the adoption process is going. Here's where we stand now:

• We have finished all of the paperwork. {I think we have; there is so much, we may have missed something. :-) }
• I've been working on our adoption profile, which is basically a snapshot of our lives. I'm doing it as a photobook, which is how we did our first one. It's almost finished; we are just getting a couple of updated photos to include, and then we'll be able to order a few copies to send to the agency to show to potential birth mothers. If you'd like to see our photobook, click here. {I think you may have to sign in with a Walmart.com account, so I apologize if it's too much hassle. And please let me know if that link doesn't work! :-) }
• Our fundraisers are going SO WELL, thanks to all you generous people! Honestly, we are so astounded at how giving everyone is! We have had a lot of people give us donations, and Baron has had several orders for his sports figures. I don't know right now how many Wild Olive Tees we have sold, but I hope it's going well! They are such cute t-shirts, and I love that they have this adoption fundraiser as an option.
• I hesitate to announce this, because I'm almost embarrassed, but I'm so excited that I just can't hide it: we had one super awesome individual donate ALL of the rest of the money we needed for our agency fees!!! People, that is a huge chunk o' change. When this person emailed me to tell me, I was completely shocked. I have known a lot of generous people in my life, but I have never been the recipient of such an amazing monetary gift. We are SO blessed!!! The individual asked to not be named, so I will respect their privacy. But I couldn't help but share the news!! We will still need to save up money for travel expenses and legal fees for the finalization, and that is where the rest of the fundraising money will go. But it is such a relief to not have to worry about the rest of the agency fees. Praise God from whom all blessings flow!!
• We are also still in the process of making room in the house for baby #2. I know once we send our first payment & our profile to the agency, I will start to get the nesting fever, as I did when we were waiting for Natalie. When we get to that point, we will have no idea how long we'll be waiting for a baby, so my OCD-ness will begin to kick in, and I'll want that space ready, like, yesterday. :-)

Thank you so much for all of your prayers! We truly feel that adopting is God's calling for us. There's no other way to explain the generosity of everyone, and the way everything just "falls into place". It seems like an impossible task in the beginning, the whole process. Then when you get into it, and everything starts to work out, you just know that it's what God wants. It really is a God thing, and He knows what He is doing!! Please continue to pray for our adoption journey; the prayers really are felt!

{ And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him; who have been called according to His purpose. ~Romans 8:28 }

{ Religion that God the Father accepts as pure and without fault is this: caring for orphans or widows who need help, and keeping yourself free from the world's evil influence. ~James 1:27 }

free printable :: adoption thank you cards

We have had so many people who are generous enough to contribute to our adoption fund! We truly are blessed! I wanted to send individual thank you notes to each of our financial angels, so I came up with a little something to use as my "adoption fund thank you card". :-) It has the adoption symbol in the middle, and would be great for any kind of adoption-related thank you note. Click on the image below to download the 4x6 pdf version for yourself!

adopted.

My dad sent me this today & I wanted to share. :-)

Happy Monday!

adoption fundraiser: bamashark customs

In case you didn't already know, my super talented hubby has a little hobby/business called BamaShark customs. He customizes sports figures. And the packaging. And they're awesome.

As a fundraiser for our pending adoption, he is offering his talents! For $75, you can have your own sports figure, display base, and customized packaging! AND the proceeds go toward our adoption fundraiser!

For more information, and to check out some of his work, head on over to his website. These make perfect gifts for graduation, birthday, father's day, etc! Or just for fun!

adoption fundraiser: wild olive tees

GREAT news! We have been set up with Wild Olive Tees to do an adoption fundraiser! Wild Olive has some super cute, spiritually-themed t-shirts for women & kids. If you'd like to help fund our adoption through Wild Olive Tees, please visit their website and browse the Adoption Fundraiser Tees. Pick out your shirt(s), and when you go to check out, be sure to enter our family code, GOINS220, in the "coupon code" field. That's how we get the credit for the sale. Be sure to enter our family code! These are such great t-shirts, and I am so excited that we are working with them. Please help us out, and tell your friends!

{ check out all of our adoption fundraisers in the sidebar to the right! }

returning to the papyrus basket

If you read this post, you know that we had "started to start" the adoption process again. :-) Well, I suppose at this point, we've officially started it! We are in the process of updating our home study, which the second time around includes:

1) getting updated medicals for Baron, Natalie, and me;

2) updating our adoption profile to include Natalie [and the bazillion pictures I have of her :-)]; and of course, 3) more paperwork. :-)

We have decided to go through the agency we used to adopt Natalie, Nightlight Christian Adoptions. We loved working with them, and we love the work they do with birthmothers and for orphan care around the world. If we're going to save up a bunch of money & use it for an adoption, these are the folks we want to have our money. And speaking of money...we're officially SAVING and fundraising! Which for me translates as, no more eating out during the week, and way fewer stops at McDonald's for a $1 tea. :-) We have an adoption fund set up at our bank, and hope to soon actually start putting more money in it. The cost of a domestic adoption typically ranges from about $20,000 - $30,000. We expect ours to be about $20,000, including legal fees and travel expenses. Would you like to help us? Guess what? You can!! We have arranged with our church to be able to accept donations through them, so that they can be tax-deductible. If you would like to simply write a check to help, you can make it out to Vaughn Park Church of Christ, and in the memo line, mark it as Family Care - Goins Adoption. You can mail your check directly to Baron & me. [Please email me at lauragoins828@gmail.com for our address, as I don't want that published on the www. :-)]

Stay tuned to my blog for our upcoming adoption fundraisers. We hope to be able to raise the money for this adoption without having to borrow. There are adoption grants to apply for, and there are also loans out there, and we will pursue whatever avenues we feel we need to, in order to bring our next baby home! If you have a fundraiser idea, please leave it in the comments or shoot me an email at lauragoins828@gmail.com. I appreciate your input!

{Curious about the title of this post,

or the name of my blog? Read this!}

the second time...

"When are you going to have another baby?"

"Are you going to adopt again?"

"Natalie is about ready for a little brother or sister!"

Those are the comments you get when you have one kid. I'm sure when you have two, you probably still get them. :) Well, we actually had it in our plans to start the adoption process again toward the end of this year. Guess what? It's NOVEMBER. That's "toward the end of this year". :) We had planned to use a local agency that has strong ties to our home church. Agape of Central Alabama is an awesome organization that focuses on foster care, adoption, and crisis pregnancy counseling. We used them to conduct our home study when we were preparing to adopt Natalie. We wanted to use them for our next adoption for two reasons: 1) They are local, and 2) Their adoption expenses are lower than that of the agency we used the first time. So, the other day I decided to email their Adoption Specialist & ask what we need to do to get the process started. Her reply felt like a door shut in my face. They are not accepting applications for adoptive families right now, due to a lack of birthmothers coming to them. While I realize this is somewhat good news, that there aren't many birthmothers who need or want to place their child in another home, it's not good news for adoptive families. I'll be honest: I got upset when I got this news. You would think that by now, I would realize that my plans aren't always what God's plans are, but I guess my thick skull hasn't quite let it sink in yet. MY PLANS were to go through this agency; it would just be so much simpler that way.

So, that's where we stand right now. We have to decide if we want to use another agency, or if we want to raise the funds to be able to use Nightlight in South Carolina {who we used for Natalie's adoption}, or if maybe God just wants us to wait. We shall see!

Please join us in praying for God's will to be revealed to us as we decide how to grow our family.

This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. ~1 John 5:14

an adoption fundraiser

My friend Robin over at Blessed Beyond Belief has shared some wonderful news on her blog today! Go read her post, please...and consider her plea!

featured in Southern Child Magazine!

Southern Child Magazine included our adoption story in their April/May 2011 issue. Check it out!

an adoption fundraiser!

As you all know, I have a heart for adoption...and yes, it's mostly just because we have recently adopted. :) Through our own experience, Baron & I have had our eyes opened to how wonderful is the ministry of adoption. Seriously, we can't brag on it enough. If you're remotely considering adoption...please research, pray, and ask questions! If you're not remotely considering adoption, you can still pray for all of those involved in adoption - adoptive families, birthmothers, adoptive children, orphans, social workers, etc. Prayer is the #1 fuel for ministries!


A sweet friend of mine, Abbie Greer, recently announced her & her husband's plans to adopt. Of course, I was THRILLED to hear this exciting news! In my opinion, announcing adoption plans is the same as announcing a pregnancy. The only difference is you don't know how long it will be before you have the baby. :) Anyway...as most of you know (or maybe you don't?), adoptions can be very expensive. Each adoption agency has its own fees, which can vary due to expenses within the agency, state or local government fees, legal fees, etc. But even the LEAST expensive adoption agencies still cost a wad of money. Which is why many adoptive families choose to use fundraisers for their adoptions. Baron & I were SO BLESSED to be able to pay cash for Natalie's adoption, all due to EXTREMELY generous donations, participation in our own fundraisers, and lots of cutting back on expenses. Anyway, back to the Greers. Abbie & Ben are getting creative with their fundraising, and they've gotten Chick-fil-A involved! On Monday, November 8th, the Chick-fil-A in Prattville will donate 10% of all sales to the Greers' adoption fund! How awesome is that? I love that they thought of this idea, and I am so thankful that Chick-fil-A is graciously agreeing to help this family bring a precious child into their home.


So, if you're in Prattville on Monday, PLEASE buy something from Chick-fil-A to support this sweet family's adoption! On second thought...even if you're not in Prattville on Monday - do it anyway! It's just a short drive from Montgomery, Millbrook, Wetumpka, etc. You don't even have to commit to a whole meal if you can't; just drive through & get some sweet tea or a yummy milkshake! You know you want it anyway; so go on Monday & help this family out!! DO IT.

incredible testimony

This young lady has an incredible story. Her birthmother tried to abort her & {obviously} failed. This is no only a pro-life story, but a pro-adoption story, and most of all a pro-God story. Please take the time to watch these two videos {part 1 & 2}. I wish I was as passionate about sharing Christ as she is! We all should be so bold in declaring God's glory. Love this.

help families adopt!

The Vintage Pearl is doing an amazing thing over on her page. The profits from the sales of this Hope for Orphans necklace will go to help families who are waiting to adopt! Obviously this cause is special to me. The financial burden of adoption can be overwhelming, and can sometimes even prevent families from pursuing adoption. So thank you, Erin @ The Vintage Pearl, for helping!!

the Natalie diaries - part 4: the hospital.

{for the Natalie diaries - parts 1, 2, & 3...click here}

Around lunchtime on Tuesday, March 23, Baron's mom and my parents got to our rental house in Greenville. Obviously they were oozing with excitement & about to jump out of their skin to see Natalie. :) Baron & I ate some lunch and then headed to the hospital, and the grandparents followed us shortly. Their first view of Natalie was through the nursery window as we visited with her. Fortunately, the nursery at the hospital there had a private room {read: closet} set aside that they called the "bonding room". That was where Baron & I did most of our snuggling with Natalie on her first day in this world. We also got to take the grandparents into the room one at a time to hold her.

{holding my daughter for the first time!}

{Baron holding Natalie for the first time}

{Natalie and Granmama (Baron's mom)}

{Natalie and Mimi (my mom)}

{Natalie and Paparoxy (my dad)}

The rest of that day is sort of a blur. We changed, fed, and held Natalie, but all of that took place in the nursery/bonding room. That night we headed back to the house for some much-needed rest.

On Wednesday, we started visiting Georgia in her hospital room, with Natalie. It was awesome to be able to visit with Natalie's birthmother, with Natalie there too. No more tiny bonding room for us; we visited & relaxed in Georgia's room instead. The grandparents were thrilled to be able to meet Georgia too; and the feeling was mutual. We were all like family there in that tiny hospital room. It was an experience I'll never forget! Thankfully we got lots of pictures. :) Georgia's cousin Kelley was especially fond of Natalie. Natalie has several gifts from her Aunt Kelley that she will treasure.

The days spent in the hospital were kind of a blur to us. They all seemed to run together. Georgia's release day was set to be Friday, which meant that was also the day she would sign the relinquishment papers, giving custody of Natalie to me & Baron. That Friday was an emotional day. We were bringing home this tiny life, who we would forever be responsible for here on this earth; we were excited to be able to have Natalie in a more relaxed environment; we were in the midst of leaving our rental house for another one for the second portion of our stay; and we were anxiously awaiting the signing of "The Papers". There was a lot going on this day. I remember the butterflies in my stomach. I remember the mix of emotions in the hospital room while Aunt Kelley fed Natalie for the last time. I remember the overwhelming sense of gratitude I felt for Georgia, who selflessly chose a different mother to raise her child. I remember how strange it felt to hear that Georgia's hospital bracelet for Natalie would be cut once she signed the papers, which would no longer allow her to visit with Natalie alone in her room. And I remember walking Natalie down the hallway from Georgia's room, and breaking down in tears because I felt as if I were taking this woman's child from her. It truly was an emotional time, but overall, so incredible. It was an amazing experience that I will definitely never forget!

{for more pics from our adoption trip, visit my Facebook photo album}