Tuesday, February 27, 2007

just how bad do you have to go?

A couple of weeks ago, I was out shopping for bar stools for our house. I was making my 723rd stop for the day; I had just been to Flea Market Montgomery (it really IS just like a mini-mall) and I was making the trek down the shopping strip to Lin Imports. They were having a going-out-of-business sale, so I thought I'd check it out. Needless to say, I didn't have much luck. They had some great prices on coffee tables, but the bar stools were outrageously priced, as they were everywhere else I had been. Anyway, at the end of my browse around the store, I REALLY had to use the bathroom. So I asked the small Asian woman if they had a restroom. She simply pointed to a hallway behind the front desk. My first thought was that this was the employee restroom, since it was tucked away in a hidden corridor. But I had to go so bad that I didn't care. As I walked down the hallway decorated with giant silk magnolias and shiny brass-accented furniture, I passed 3 doors: a storage closet, the men's room, and finally, the ladies' room. I opened the door to find the following sight:

Wait a minute...this isn't a restroom. This is another storage closet! Those boxes have actual furniture in them. This is their inventory. I did, however, notice the stalls in the room, so I assumed this really was the restroom. I turned the corner into the first stall, looked down, and threw up in my mouth a little.

I mean, really? This is an actual restroom in a furniture store. I have used restrooms in truck stops that are cleaner than this. Of course, the other two stalls were filled with boxes, so this was the only available one. And guess what I did next? Yep, that's right. I used this toilet. No, of course I didn't put the seat down and sit on it. I wouldn't dare touch this disgusting excuse for a toilet. I hovered as far away from the commode as I could (although I probably could have peed all over the place & no one would notice). And when I flushed, I used my foot instead of my hand. I made a point not to touch a single thing in that restroom with any of my bare flesh.

So, if you want to head over to Lin Imports on the Southern Boulevard to catch some great deals, PLEASE go potty before you head that way. Or else you will also be subjected to the Water Closet of Doom.

Friday, February 16, 2007

my name is laura, and I am addicted to chapstick.

Yes, I have an addiction. Not to alcohol, or nicotine, or opiates. But to chapstick. My favorite scene in Napoleon Dynamite is when he called Kip and asked him to bring his chapstick because his "lips hurt really bad". I totally understand that. My lips really don't get chapped that often, but I just love the feeling of chapstick on them. So I have a stick at my desk (ok really two), one on my nightstand, one in my purse, one on my keychain, and several in my makeup bag.

So, considering this addiction, imagine my excitement when I walked to my desk this morning to find a co-worker with a large tub of chapsticks, passing them out to everyone in the office. It was like Christmas for me!! And when I got to my desk, she had given me THREE sticks! I hit the mother load. Apparently one of our producers wrote an account yesterday for Bahama Bo's, a distributor of sunblock, chapstick, and hand sanitizer. So I've been wearing this chapstick all morning and it is GREAT. I have no idea how much it costs in stores, but if you ever see it, pick one up! It's good stuff. It has aloe vera, beeswax, and vitamin E...and it has an SPF of 15.

Buy Bahama Bo's. It's da Bahama bomb! Sorry that was cheesy.