Tuesday, March 22, 2011

I fought the wasp, and I won.

I am utterly terrified of stinging insects. As in, I completely spaz out whenever one comes within a 3-foot radius of me. I am creeped out by spiders, disgusted by roaches, but HORRIFIED of wasps, bees, etc. Even the semi-harmless cicada killer freaks me out with its giant stinger & creepy stalker hovering. {after posting that cicada killer link, I am now realizing how many insect-related posts I have. nice.}

Naturally, springtime brings these fierce insects to the forefront of our yards. Every time I venture outside these days, there is a bumblebee or wasp lurking around my flowerbed. This causes me to always be on the lookout, of course. I generally make a beeline {har, har} for the car, to avoid said stinging stalkers. So yesterday, as I put Natalie in her carseat, I was breathing a sigh of relief, since of course the car itself provided a safe haven for us. I strapped her in, and proceeded to the driver seat...where I heard the ever-ominous buzzing sound. I started to quickly enter the safety of the car, when I saw it.

The Wasp. Stinger = death trap. And this sucker was hovering around, just inside my car door. What do I do? Close the door? No wait...he would then be trapped inside the car, with my BABY. I left the door open & stepped back to think. Is this like when you come across a bear, and you play dead? Or a mountain lion, and you run for it? Or wait...am I supposed to grab a coat & make myself appear larger? All of these deadly creatures are so confusing. In the meantime, while I am picturing myself as large as a grizzly bear in an effort to scare off the wasp, he is creeping FURTHER into my car. OH. NO. HE. DIDN'T. Get away from my baby!! At this point I am torn between survival instincts, and maternal protective instincts. {Ok maybe that's a LITTLE dramatic.} I walked around the car and opened the other door, to provide another way out for the little bugger. {pun intended.} Our car doors are wacko heavy, and it closed itself as I swung it open & ran back around the car. UGH. I walked back around to open the passenger door again, and as I did, I saw him COMING FOR ME. I swung the door open so fast that, of course, it closed again. STUPID DOOR. Wait...what just happened? Is that...the wasp? In the door?