Tuesday, March 22, 2011

I fought the wasp, and I won.

I am utterly terrified of stinging insects. As in, I completely spaz out whenever one comes within a 3-foot radius of me. I am creeped out by spiders, disgusted by roaches, but HORRIFIED of wasps, bees, etc. Even the semi-harmless cicada killer freaks me out with its giant stinger & creepy stalker hovering. {after posting that cicada killer link, I am now realizing how many insect-related posts I have. nice.}

Naturally, springtime brings these fierce insects to the forefront of our yards. Every time I venture outside these days, there is a bumblebee or wasp lurking around my flowerbed. This causes me to always be on the lookout, of course. I generally make a beeline {har, har} for the car, to avoid said stinging stalkers. So yesterday, as I put Natalie in her carseat, I was breathing a sigh of relief, since of course the car itself provided a safe haven for us. I strapped her in, and proceeded to the driver seat...where I heard the ever-ominous buzzing sound. I started to quickly enter the safety of the car, when I saw it.

The Wasp. Stinger = death trap. And this sucker was hovering around, just inside my car door. What do I do? Close the door? No wait...he would then be trapped inside the car, with my BABY. I left the door open & stepped back to think. Is this like when you come across a bear, and you play dead? Or a mountain lion, and you run for it? Or wait...am I supposed to grab a coat & make myself appear larger? All of these deadly creatures are so confusing. In the meantime, while I am picturing myself as large as a grizzly bear in an effort to scare off the wasp, he is creeping FURTHER into my car. OH. NO. HE. DIDN'T. Get away from my baby!! At this point I am torn between survival instincts, and maternal protective instincts. {Ok maybe that's a LITTLE dramatic.} I walked around the car and opened the other door, to provide another way out for the little bugger. {pun intended.} Our car doors are wacko heavy, and it closed itself as I swung it open & ran back around the car. UGH. I walked back around to open the passenger door again, and as I did, I saw him COMING FOR ME. I swung the door open so fast that, of course, it closed again. STUPID DOOR. Wait...what just happened? Is that...the wasp? In the door?



  1. Go Laura! I hate stinging insects too. I become overly violent and cruel thoughts of torment and torture enter my head. Yesterday a wasp was hovering around my flowers while Harris and I were watering. What did I do? Put the hose on spray long enough to get the wasp on the ground then quickly switched it to jet and BURIED the stupid flying stinging useless creature into the ground via high powered water. I then laughed. Evil? Maybe but I sure enjoyed it.

  2. Ha!! Love it! Dear wasp, don't mess with mama's!