whirlwind.

Needless to say, ever since we found out we were chosen by a birth mother, my life has been a whirlwind. And it won't be slowing down for awhile. :-)

I think there is a reason God gave expecting mothers 9 months to prepare. Having only 3 weeks to get a house ready for a newborn is enough to put a mommy in a crazy house! Add to that the chaos of finding a place to stay in a town 8 hours away for 6-8 weeks, making arrangements for help with the toddler when she & the husband come back to town in a couple of weeks, beginning a relationship with my soon-to-be-son's birth mother, preparing my boss/co-workers for my extended absence, and attempting to savor the last moments at home with friends & family before being gone for awhile; and my brain is officially mush.

But, here I am, the night before our travel day, and I am almost ready. No, not almost ready to bring a baby home. { My house is a mess; the baby's clothes are stacked in his room because his dresser drawers are broken; I don't have newborn diapers; the nursery isn't finished...etc...} I just mean I am almost ready for our trip. Because honestly, I don't think I could manage this whole ordeal if I were trying to get ready for ALL of this at once. I am taking it one day at a time. Tonight, I will get ready for tomorrow's travel. Tomorrow, I will get ready to be in the delivery room for the birth of my son on Monday. Monday, I will get ready for the moments I intend to savor with my son & his birth mother while in the hospital together. Tuesday, I will get ready for the emotions that come when the birth mother signs her relinquishment papers. And all that time, in the back of my mind, I will be praying for my son to just be healthy. I will pray for him to breathe when he is born. I will pray for his blood to circulate. I will pray for the NICU nurses, the surgeon who will operate on him, and all of the people taking care of him while he is in surgery & recovering. I will also be praying for his birth mother, who is nervous, excited, anxious. Who is struggling with her broken relationship with her mother. I will attempt to encourage her, while refraining from saying "it will all work out", when I don't know that it will. I will try to be her friend, because she has none with her at this time.

Friends, this is a lot to deal with. I am an emotional girl anyway, and all of this is just completely overwhelming for me! The only way I am managing to drift through this is because I am relying on God. This is His plan anyway, so He knows what's going on. He is my strength, because I have none on my own. I am fragile & weak & way too emotional to handle this myself. The Joy of the Lord is my Strength. I have had to remind myself of that over & over during the past 3 weeks! The Joy of the Lord is my Strength.

The Joy of the Lord is my Strength.

(source)