Sunday, June 15, 2008

life in limbo

Baron & I had a conversation a couple of weeks ago that, in a way, made me feel a little more sane. I had been having the same thoughts that he expressed, and I thought it was just me, but apparently he has made the same observations. :-)

We are in limbo right now. Stuck in the middle. Most of our closest married friends have moved to the next stage in life - having children & starting families. We love hanging out with our friends and their kids. However, we sometimes feel like they would rather be with other parents - so the kids can play, to enjoy conversations about parenting, etc. And there is also a number of our friends who are a step behind us in life - newlyweds. So where does that put us? In the middle. We have gone through this before, when we were dating and most of our couple friends were getting married well before us. This morning in Bible class, we were studying Ecclesiastes and we discussed the "to everything there is a season" passage. While I know that this is just one season in life, it is still hard for me to accept the feeling that we suddenly ("suddenly" being a relative term) feel like we don't fit in a "group". It's sad for me at times, but I also try to remind myself that different stages in life cause healthy transitions. It's tough growing up, huh? :-)

I don't want this post to be whiny or depressing, so I will just close with the words from the passage in Ecclesiastes:

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.


  1. I am, obviously, not in a position to give any kind of advice on babies or anything of the sort. But I know yall will make the right decision on when there should be little sharks in the world! :)

  2. WARNING! Those feelings do not end at 18, 21, 30, 40, 50...
    When I get them, I assume it is a "time to kill". You should kill something--you will feel better. Or maybe it would help if you go to a store and Baron takes a "feminine product" from your purse and tosses it on the floor?

  3. I'm totally with roxy. it doesn't end after you have kids, either. we feel like there are very few people we connect with that have kids. it's neverendingly frustrating. so ive significantly lowered my standards as far as expectations of people go. ;) and his comment about the feminine product made me laugh. it may be a refreshing reminder of still appreciating those small things while you can??? trying to help I guess. probably not. are those gummy bears????

  4. Hahaha...y'all are cracking me up! I know it never ends; I just have to keep reminding myself of that. And it's not like this is something that's got me all upset or anything; it was just a conversation that we had. And maybe I will try getting Baron to throw a feminine product on the floor! Although I'm not sure what that has to do with anything.

  5. Laura, we felt the same way when we were in Auburn - either our friends were in college students or families getting on with their life. We felt "stuck" while in Vet School. Then, we didn't have kids straight out of school, either. We had to catch up and be a plain married couple (not a married couple commuting and in school). Be patient with yourselves and God's timing. They are both looking out for your best interests!

  6. I'm with you...and understand. Look at my situation. I'm not even married. In a sense I'm so far behind the times I'll never catch up. But at the same time, it seems like every few years I go through a major life change. It's exciting to me but would probably drive others nuts. A hard lesson I've learned over the last few years is that our need is not about connecting through similar life stages. It's just about connecting. I often get frustrated because I can't find someone to connect with on a heart level. I'm not necessarily talking about a spouse, but that could be it. But I mean more of someone who shares my dreams and wants to take the same risks and a whole lot more. But still, the one of our greatest needs is for connection. Just to be able to share your heart is a tremendous gift. While it is awesome to find someone on the same lap, sometimes it does us just as well to find someone else in the same race. That one is easier to do.

    I hope all of this makes sense. In other words...I'm glad we're all in this thing together.


  7. jon-great quote at the end to remember when I get frustrated with the same problems. because its really easy to get frustrated at times!

  8. Girl, I don't know why I'm just now reading this but... we're white gummy bears too... :)