mom jeans

Well, I'm not a mom yet, but I bought some mom jeans. I was deceived by the fact that they are from Old Navy. I have put on a couple of pounds in the past few months, and while I may not look bigger, my jeans/pants definitely fit smaller. So, while we were in Foley last weekend, I did the inevitable: jean shopping. I hate jean shopping. On the one hand, I am 29 years old. I want "hip" jeans. {Does it make me un-hip that I just said that?} But on the other hand, I am 29 years old. My metabolism is slowing, and the ultra-low-rise-super-skinny-mocha-latte jeans just don't work as well for me any more. So, there I stood, in Old Navy, about to begin the process.

Probelm #1: Leg length. I am 5' 4" so it's hard to find the right length. At Old Navy, they conveniently have short, regular, and long lengths. Which is great, if you're short, regular, or long. But I'm in-between short & regular. So I am either flooding or dragging. I prefer to drag, so I got the regular length. Problem #1 = not solved, but settled.

Problem #2: Choose your fit. Weekend, Diva, Sweetheart, Flirt, Dreamer. Sounds cute. Very confusing. Low rise, mid-rise, classic rise. Relaxed fit, slim fit, straight fit. Boot cut, skinny cut, trouser cut. I AM SO CONFUSED. Ok, let's try process of elimination: no relaxed cut. That means baggy, right? No thanks. I already have a pair of Diva jeans, and while they are flattering, they are like super low rise or something & I have a severe case of muffin top when I wear them. Finally, after researching all of the different fits, I narrowed it down to two: Sweetheart and Dreamer. Problem #2 = almost solved.

Problem #3: What size do I wear again? {I am not going to reveal my jean size, in an attempt to make people keep thinking I am skinnier than I really am. I probably wear a bigger size than you think.} First of all, the size varies depending on where you are shopping. JC Penney has different sizing than, say, American Eagle. At American Eagle I am apparently a heiffer. At JC Penney I feel skinny. Whatever. Old Navy stands nicely between the two, and I can buy a size that I feel comfortable purchasing without feeling too big or too small. So, I went up one size from the last pair I purchased here, since my too-tight jeans I last purchased are the reason I'm jean shopping to begin with. Problem #3 = solved.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity of digging through stacks & stacks of jeans to find the right cut/size/length/shade of denim that I wanted, I find The Pair. And since this is an outlet store, and everything is 40% off, they are only $20. Score. I am so pumped to wear my new perfectly-fitting-except-for-the-length {which I will perpetually struggle with} jeans! I get home & wash them, in an attempt to shrink them a little in the leg/butt area {yeah they were a little droopy-drawered in the store, but my jeans ALWAYS shrink too much so I went slightly droopier than normal}. Wednesday night = church night. I love wearing new clothes, so I'm pumped about these new jeans. I put them on. What are these? Did I choose these jeans? THESE ARE MOM JEANS! I chose the Dreamer cut, which is a "classic rise". Which sounds mom-ish, but I don't remember them being so mom-ish in the store? What have I done? Stacy & Clinton would throw these in the garbage for sure. They come way too close to my belly button. Fortunately I am long-waisted so they don't actually touch my belly button, but still. This is very unusual for me. I have so much room in these jeans, I could run laps. I do NOT look like the model pictured in this ad for "The Dreamer" jeans.

But...they are comfortable. I don't have a muffin top. Maybe I can even get invited to a few play dates with these jeans. We shall see.