remembering.

Tomorrow, on September 11th, a lot of people will remember. We will remember where we were when that first plane hit the tower in New York. We will remember the emotions we felt: shock, disbelief, fear, anger, sadness, uncertainty. We will remember the strong sense of patriotism that this country experienced after those horrific events. We will remember, if applicable, our trip to New York and the view from the top of the World Trade Center. We will remember all of the heroes that emerged on that day eight years ago. And hopefully, we will remember our desperate dependence on God to get our country through that time. It is good to remember. Remembering helps us deal with grief, helps us move on, and hopefully makes us stronger.

Tomorrow, on September 11th, I will remember something besides the attack on our country. I will remember the life that began inside of me 9 months ago. I will remember when I first found out I was pregnant after trying for 2½ years. I will remember the emotions I felt: shock, disbelief, and finally, excitement. I will remember telling our family. I will remember the best reaction EVER from Baron’s mom when she all but screamed our ears off. I will remember telling people that my due date was 9/11, and getting the “oh, wow” response. I will remember discussing baby names with my pregnant friends. I will remember rooming with Judy at the ladies’ retreat & getting comments about being in the “pregnant room”. I will remember the strong aversion to chocolate I had, and how I didn’t care because I just wanted a baby. I will joyfully remember the first heartbeats I heard during my early ultrasound. I will remember every detail about my pregnancy, including the sad parts. I will have to remember the day we found out the baby was no longer living, and those horrific days that followed. I cannot forget those dark feelings I felt – loss, discouragement, anger, frustration, confusion, disbelief, sadness. But during all of that, the more significant emotions were those that were showered over us by friends and family – comfort, encouragement, sympathy, understanding, love. God truly does love us. If he did not, why would he bother placing these overwhelming feelings of hope in the midst of such devastation?

Yes, tomorrow we will remember. But let’s not only remember the devastation, loss, hurt, anger, frustration. Let’s remember the wondrous things that God has done for us during those difficult times. Let’s remember the hope He gives us – hope for redemption, hope for salvation, and hope for an eternal life with Him.

Look to the LORD and his strength; seek his face always. Remember the wonders he has done, his miracles, and the judgments he pronounced. ~1 Chronicles 16:11-12