Thursday, April 09, 2009

not-so-random acts of kindness

Last Monday, as I was thoroughly enjoying my newfound freedom in my Mondays off, I went to check the mail. Usually we know what to expect in the mail, but that day I had an unexpected package. The return address was some place in Canada, so I was definitely confused. {Did I order something online & forget about it? That’s always fun cause it’s like getting a present! Even though I paid for it…I digress.} I went inside & thoughts of “don’t open any suspicious packages! Anthrax!” went through my head. Of course I opened it anyway. There was a small jewelry bag wrapped in bubble wrap. {Ok, now I am definitely confused because I know I haven’t ordered any jewelry.} Inside the bag was this necklace:

And this card with the sweetest poem:

I immediately started bawling. This was the sweetest thing anyone has done for me since the miscarriage! I looked through the small package to see who it was from, and finally found a card with a note from my good friends Judy & Stacy. Stacy had a miscarriage during her second pregnancy, and someone had given her a similar necklace, and she talked to Judy about it…you get the idea. I was so touched. I’ll admit, at first I wasn’t sure if I would wear the necklace much, as I am always concerned about coordinating my jewelry with my outfits {superficial, I know, but it’s true}. But I have worn the necklace every day since I got it, as a reminder of the beautiful life that once was inside me. Thank you, friends, for my lovely gift! {Click here for the jewelry artist’s website – she also makes memorial jewelry, baby jewelry, and custom jewelry!}

And while I’m on that note, I should share my two other favorite gestures from friends during this difficult time. First of all, I should point out that every single card, e-mail, Facebook message, text message, phone call, blog comment, flower arrangement, and even gift card that we got meant so much to us. I will always have memories of how much love has been poured over us during this time. It is SO encouraging! Ok, back to the two other favorite gestures. The night of my D&C: Ashley cooked dinner for us. I know this sounds like a small gesture, but I cannot express to you how much this meant! I have never had a “thinking of you” meal cooked for me, and now I know how helpful they are. I had an especially rough time that day because I had to spend about 6 hours longer at the hospital than I expected, due to a long wait for my doctor…long story. Point is, I should have gotten home by 1:00 & I got home after 6:00. Ashley cooked THE BEST comfort food EVER – poppyseed chicken casserole, green bean casserole, Sister Schubert’s rolls, and chocolate chip cookies. YUM. MERS. I wasn’t supposed to eat “real” food that night but I snuck in a few bites because I couldn’t resist. J Third favorite gesture: a woman from my small group ordered a book for me titled Grieving the Child I Never Knew by Kathe Wunnenberg. This is a GREAT book for people who have had miscarriages, stillborns, or infant loss. The author uses scripture, short prayers, introspective questions, personal stories, and journaling to walk you through the grieving process. It’s written like a devotional book, to be read small sections at a time. It is wonderful! I highly recommend it.

The point of this post is for two purposes: (1) To share with you all the wonderful acts of kindness that I’ve experienced through my family and friends, and (2) To give you ideas of what you can do when you have a friend or family member who goes through a similar experience and you don’t know what to do for them. If you can’t afford to send a flower arrangement, or order a book or piece of jewelry; or if you don’t have time to cook a meal; a simple card or e-mail that just says “I’m praying for you & I love you” speaks volumes. Seriously. I will forever cherish ALL of the precious gestures that everyone has sent us! I love you all!

{A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. ~Proverbs 17:17}


  1. I am so sorry to read of the death of your precious baby. :( Kathe Wunnenberg's book is one of my absolute favorite resources - I consider it my "baby book" for the two whose losses I mourned through those pages and it's a treasure I cherish even many years after their deaths. What a blessing to be surrounded by such carrying friends and such a hard season of life. {hugs}

  2. I just realized today that I never came back to comment on this post. I am so proud of you and Baron for the strength you have shown during a difficult time and how you chose to turn to God and Godly friends. You are blessed with friends of outstanding character and I know they choose to be your friend because of your outstanding character. It makes a dad proud.