meh.

family

My cousin {Chris}, his wife {Holly}, and their daughter {Skylar} came to visit for a couple of days. Skylar is such a HOOT. Here are a couple of not-so-good videos of her while she was entertaining the adults.

no friends.

I obviously had no friends in high school.

This is a picture of me as a senior. If you can look past the cheesy smile, the tilted head pose, and the Jaclyn Smith K-Mart shirt, you will see them. The brows.


What. In. The. World.


Apparently I had no friends to tell me to wax those monsters. After much consideration, I have decided that I must be a direct decendant of Eddie Munster. Cheesy smile - check. Widow's peak - check. Munster brows - check.

update...

Sometimes I feel weird posting about my personal life, because I wonder why in the world anyone would care to read about my boring life. But, I do it anyway because (a) there are people who read this that I don't get to talk to often, and I want to keep them in the loop, and (b) it's therapeutic for me to blog and it will someday serve as a journal for me to look back on. Now that I have bored you already with my disclaimer, on to what I was going to update you on...

Baron and I have finally made the decision to pursue adoption. Of course it has been in the back of our minds for the past few months, after trying to get pregnant for two years, but we hadn't committed to actually researching & moving forward with the process. Well, a couple of weeks ago, we started talking about it again, and Baron said to me, "What if we don't have a baby yet because there are so many people out there who don't want theirs?" And it suddenly hit me - maybe that is what God wants us to do. Maybe this long & drawn out infertility ordeal is just to get us to take care of someone else's child. Maybe there is a specific unborn baby out there RIGHT NOW who is meant to be OURS. And when those thoughts went through my head, I made my decision to pursue this avenue.

Of course the first place we turned was Agape of Central Alabama, because we are familiar with their services and their office is the most convenient for us (it's located in our church). We met with the adoption specialist and she went over some of the basic information about it, to give us a general idea of how the process works. She also recommended two other agencies - one in Florida and one in Texas - for us to consider. At this point I am really looking forward to the possibility of adopting.

We started talking to people we know who have adopted. It's an unknown for us, so we have been trying to get a feel for how the whole thing works, how others coped with the process, etc. Needless to say, after hearing some of the stories about failed adoptions - moms changing their minds, etc, waiting lists, yadda yadda yadda...I started to become a little demotivated. "I just don't know if I have the energy for all of this." I have become so emotionally drained over the past several months - for several reasons - that I just didn't know if I could handle the emotions that come with this whole adoption thing.

And then, I thought about the words of a friend of mine who has two adopted children. She said in an e-mail to me, "you just have to jump in with both feet!" And so, after discussing this with Baron last night, I'm back on board. I'm still scared, apprehensive, and honestly a little reluctant, but I need to just move forward. As for Baron, he's been gung-ho about it the whole time I've been wishy-washy. I'm such a girl - so fickle. Anyway, we are going to move forward with this and hopefully we will have a precious little one when this is all over. :-)

Having said all that, I welcome any feedback from those who have gone through this process. Right now we are trying to decide what agency to use - so far we're looking at Christian Homes & Family Services (Texas), Christian Family Services (Florida), and Georgia Agape. So if you have any advice, please give! And mostly, please pray for us as we start this new journey.

P.S. Maybe I should get this new t-shirt...? :-)

chunky + vintage + cheap = love it!

Check out these funky vintage costume rings from Lilly's Vintage Costume Jewelry...

this one is my personal fave:

riiiiight...

Saw this on a bumper sticker today:

THE KING JAMES VERSION OF THE BIBLE IS THE INSPIRED WORD OF GOD.

flashback 1995

This weekend Baron & I attended the National Youth Workers' Convention in Nashville. Lots of speakers, artists, etc...it's great fun & very informative for Baron. Anyway, Sunday night we got to see Jars of Clay! (coming to Montgomery Dec. 4, BTW) Their first song was Flood, and it gave me flashbacks to my years in the youth group. Ah, memories. I haven't been a big fan of Jars in recent years, but I LOVED them as a teenager. Anyway here are a few pics.

{Jars of Clay}

{woo-hoo! yes, I have gum in my mouth.}

{this is for you, Judy. :-)}

yes, please.

I've been married four years. Is it too late to change my china pattern???

{view it here at west elm}

ten infertility myths

I found this article at www.bethany.org and thought it was interesting and insightful. I'm not sure if there is anyone reading my blog who deals with infertility, but maybe this will be a source of encouragement for you if you are reading...

Infertility Myths
by John and Sylvia Van Regenmorter

THE ELIJAH MYTH
“Why am I the only one facing this? Why is everyone else a ‘fertile Myrtle’?”

The Elijah Complex is a common malady among believers who suffer from infertility. Elijah was a faithful servant of God, but discouragement blinded him from realizing that he was not alone. The Bible paints a poignant portrait of Elijah complaining to God, “I am the only one left...” God had to pointedly remind Elijah that He had 7,000 other faithful servants in Israel; he was not alone (1 Kings 19:14-18 NIV). Sometimes God needs to remind us that we are not alone! Currently there are five million to ten million American couples who are facing infertility. To put it another way, approximately one in six couples will face an infertility challenge in their married life. If you feel alone, be proactive in finding (or beginning) a support group or ask your pastor if he can connect you with at least one other infertile couple in your church.

THE FEMINIST MYTH
“We are in control of our reproductive lives. We can determine when, where, and how we will conceive and give birth.”

God gives us wonderful freedom to make many choices, but we must never forget that ultimately we are not in control of our reproductive lives. God is. “Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain . . . Sons are a heritage from the Lord . . . “ (Psalm 127 NIV). We also must accept the reality that fertility declines dramatically with age. Current estimates are that one in ten couples in their 20s experience an infertility problem, but the statistics jump to one in seven for couples ages 30-35; one in five for couples ages 36-40; and one in four for couples ages 41-45.

THE SEXIST MYTH
“Infertility is primarily a woman’s problem.”

Approximately 40 percent of infertility is caused by a female medical factor and 40 percent is caused by a male medical factor. The other cases of infertility are caused by a combined male/female factor or the cause of the infertility is unknown.

THE GUILT MYTH
“I/we must have done something wrong to deserve this.”

It is natural to make a direct connection between our sinfulness and a terrible consequence in our lives. Repeatedly, the Bible warns us about the danger of making this connection because most often it is in error! In the days of the Old Testament, Job’s friends suggested that his troubles were caused by his sin, but they were wrong! In the New Testament the disciples of Jesus thought that a certain man’s blindness was caused by sin, but they were wrong too! (John 9:1-3 NIV). For infertile couples, there is a great deal of encouragement in what the Bible says about Zechariah and Elizabeth, one of the many infertile couples in the Bible. Luke 1:6 informs us that the couple was upright in the sight of God, observing all the Lord’s commandments and regulations blamelessly.

THE EQUALITY MYTH
“My husband is hurting as badly as I am, but he just doesn’t show it.”

There is some evidence to suggest that husbands and wives do not necessarily face infertility with the same degree of anxiousness and pain. In one study, 50 percent of the women surveyed said that their infertility was the greatest burden they ever had to bear. Only ten percent of the men responded in the same way. Dr. Joe S. McIlhaney has suggested that, while infertility may be deeply frustrating and hurtful for men, infertility can be a “vicious torment” for a woman. Of course, no two couples will experience infertility in the same way. Countless husbands and wives feel a deep sense of loss and emptiness because of infertility.

THE ENERGIZER BUNNY MYTH
“My biological clock keeps ticking; I can’t afford to take a month off from treatment, even though I could desperately use a break.”

It may be healthy to take a short respite from medical treatment to reassess your situation and renew your energy. As one person put it, “Suspending treatment for a couple of months was such a treat! It rejuvenated me physically and allowed me to reconnect with my husband emotionally and sexually. It was great to live like a normal, married couple for a while. I felt better prepared to continue the difficult work of infertility treatment.”

THE STRESS MYTH
“Infertility is caused by stress. Try to relax. Take a vacation or a cruise.”

Infertility is seldom the result of psychological factors. In 90 percent of all infertility cases, infertility specialists are able to determine a physical problem. According to Resolve, the national infertility support organization, “Psychological stress is more likely a result of infertility than the cause.”

“THE DOCTOR ALWAYS KNOWS BEST” MYTH
“I trust my doctor, and so I will go along with whatever treatment is suggested without question.”

It is important to have an honest, trusting relationship with your physician. If you have such a relationship, he or she will not object to your asking questions. It is in everyone’s interest for you to be fully informed about the treatments that are available to you. What seems appropriate to your physician as a next step in treatment, may or may not be right for you either physically, financially, emotionally, or spiritually.

THE ADOPTION MYTH
“We would consider adoption, but it is so expensive and it takes such a long time to get a baby.”

While some adoption programs can be expensive, U.S. citizens can take advantage of the Adoption Tax Credit which became available on January 1, 2002 and is a credit of up to $10,390. Most families qualify for this credit which helps make adoption very affordable. Some agencies, such as Bethany Christian Services, offer low-cost loans or other financial aid for adoptive families. While it is true that some families wait for a period of time before receiving a baby, there are many adoptable children waiting for a home right now. Should you decide to adopt, do not assume that you will have a long wait.

THE “NUMBER ONE GOAL IN LIFE” MYTH

“Having a baby is the most important thing in my life. If I can’t have one, I don’t know what I will do.”

Becoming a parent is an important goal, but for Christians, the goal of becoming a parent may never be “number one.” Other, more important. goals include thanking and glorifying God, rejoicing in the husband or wife He has given us, and seeking opportunities to serve others in His name. It is not easy to face infertility and continue to praise His name, but the Old Testament prophet Habbakuk provides a wonderful model:
“Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, although there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior.” (Habbakuk 3:17-18 NIV)

Source: Click Here

too much time on {someone's} hands

On the Rick & Bubba show, whenever they are about to talk about politicians, they play the song "Too Much Time on My Hands". Well, whoever made this video had too much time on their hands...

I am so glad THIS is over with, at least for a couple of years...

on the farm

I am jumping on the blogger bandwagon and posting about a controversial subject.

A couple of weeks ago, I was at home sick & I watched Oprah. Now, I love Oprah’s show…sometimes. When she has cool guests on the show, or when Nate is on there talking about decorating, or even when Suze is on there talking about finances, I’m all about it. However, I’m not really interested in the shows that display a political agenda; they tend to bore me. So, I was hesitant to watch the special that Lisa Ling did on the treatment of animals on farms. {BTW, if any of you went to public school in Montgomery, did you get Channel 1 at school when Lisa Ling was on? That’s right, I knew ole Lisa before she was all Oprah famous! I digress…} The reason for this story on the show was in response to a proposition that the state of California would vote on, but I'm discussing it for a different reason.

Lisa Ling did a report on the conditions that animals are raised in on farms. Chickens, pigs, cows…they are raised in what is basically a huge barn with cages in it for each animal. Some of the “cages” were so small that the animal cannot even turn around in it. I’m sure a lot of you have seen or heard about these situations, so I won’t bore you with the details. Anyway, Lisa also visited a couple of organic farms, where the animals are raised free range. She spoke with a farmer who raised chickens, where the chickens could roam around the land as they please.


Obviously there is a stark difference between regular farms and free range farms. And obviously I would love for all of our food to come from the free range organic farms. Here is my problem: 1) there are not enough animals raised on these free range farms to provide for all Americans. We eat a lot. More food comes from the regular farms. 2) Organic food sure does cost a lot more. I love the idea of it, and in an ideal world we would all eat organic. But seriously, Chef Boyardee and Hamburger Helper is SO much cheaper.


I'm not saying I prefer that we raise animals in these regular farms, where they cannot live in a "natural" environment. But here's a question: do they know the difference? Are the animals on the free range farm "happier"? Are animals ever "happy"? Do they even experience emotions? I'm not so sure about that. When I say my dog is "happy" because he is wagging his tail, is he actually feeling an emotion, or is he just acting on some reflex that he has no control over?


Wednesday night in ladies' bible class at church, we discussed "Lies Women Believe About Emotions". Phoebe Dunn taught the class, and she made an observation about emotions that I'd never thought of before: Emotions are what "connect" us to God. Think about it. Think about a time when you felt really close to God. You were probably emotional in some way - overjoyed, humbled, or perhaps discovering a new revelation. Anyway, so if emotions connect us to God, by way of our souls, why would animals have emotions? Animals don't have souls. {Ok, that might be a whole different topic of discussion right there.} Animals don't fall in love, or cry, or celebrate when a baby is born. Granted, they do have actions that can be perceived as these feelings, but I think perhaps those actions are simply reactions that come naturally. So do animals have emotions? I'm not sure, but I tend to think not.


My point is this: we don't know for sure what those animals on the farms are thinking. I'm not so sure they are "thinking" at all. No, it is not nice to mistreat animals. But I don't think the best argument against animal cruelty is "that pig is unhappy". I think the best argument against animal cruelty is that we should treat God's creation with the respect it deserves, just like we wouldn't litter or pollute (oh wait...we do those things too...).


Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to eat some eggs that were produced by chickens in crowded cages that hold 5-7 birds each, where they poop all over each other and don't even get to go outside.

halloween politics

outback

Last weekend Baron & I attended Outback. No, we didn't go out for a steak dinner. Outback America is a retreat that...well...is kind of hard to explain. It builds relationships - with God, with parents/teens, and with spouses. We had a GREAT time, and we both gained a lot from it. Even though it wore me out, with the dawn-til-dusk schedule, it was a good weekend. I don't want to explain it too much, in case anyone reading this ever has the priviledge of attending {the lack of expectations makes it all the better}, but here are a few pics from the weekend.

{this picture was taken just before the sun rose...yes, I was up that early! showered & everything! :-)}

{the sun rising over our camp...oh yeah, did I mention we slept in tents??}

{this is just as we got to the top of the "mountain". no, we weren't being sweet by holding hands; Baron had to drag me up the trail!}

{this is what we had to hike up to at sunrise...it was a great view but I sure was sleepy}

{yes, I have a bandana around my neck, thank you.}

{ok this place had THE BEST apples in the WORLD. so I was a total dork & captured the memory with a picture.}

And here is a short video to give you an idea of what some of the worship time was like...except it wasn't always this, um, bluegrass-y. :-)

Quilt giveaway!

Click here to win this quilt!

just for fun

I yearbooked myself. Check it out:

{1952}

{1966}

{1994}

hair on a biscuit.

At my office, we have a redneck customer who once answered the question "How have you been?" with a hearty response: "Oh, I'm hangin' in there like a hair on a biscuit!" The disgusting metaphor has become a constant joke around the office. But for me right now, it is so applicable.

I've been so busy that I haven't had time to blog, so I wanted to at least post something so y'all wouldn't have to see my "product endorsement" post any longer. So what have I been busy with? Well, the biggest thing is that my office moved last week. Which doesn't sound like a big deal, unless you have been in that position before. At a job for 5 years, responsible for about 5 different job duties, accumulating lots of stuff...etc. Moving an office is a much bigger task than you would think. It has been stressful, frustrating, and annoying. Our new office is REALLY nice (check out the "town" where we moved to here: http://www.townofhampstead.com/) but so far it is not very practical for most of us. I will not bore you with the reasons why it is impractical, but just know that it is. Very pretty though! That counts, right? :-)

Besides the work move, I've volunteered to help out with a baby shower, a bridal shower, and the ladies' retreat at Vaughn Park...among other random tasks & activities. All of which I am thrilled to do, and none of which I regret agreeing to.

Perhaps soon there will be a time when I don't have something that needs to be worked on. For now, I need to go to bed...I have to get up earlier these days thanks to the new office location about 10 miles farther from my house! :-)

Hopefully soon I will have a "real" post for you to enjoy! Sorry for the "filler" post!! (Please don't stop reading...)

product endorsement

I have discovered a new coffee creamer that is YUMMERS. It's International Delight white chocolate mudslide, and it is delicious! It's the closest thing I've tasted to my all-time favorite Starbucks White Chocolate Mocha. If you do decide to try this new creamer, try using some of it along with some French vanilla creamer. Coffee heaven, that's what it is.

Side note: I discovered this creamer in our kitchen at work. There were only a few little individual containers of it. I went online to try to find a link to use for this blog post, and I came across someone's review of the "limited edition" creamer...and their post was dated 12/2007. How old was that creamer I ingested this morning??? Yikes.

sonic commercials

Am I the only one who loves Sonic's commercials? Here's one I found on YouTube that made me laugh. Enjoy.

Toby's heritage?

+

=

?

something new for you to read :-)

Please read my husband's blog. :-)

CLICK HERE.

I usually forget, but today I remember.

As the years pass by, remembering September 11, 2001 becomes more & more faint. However, each time this date comes around, I remember. I remember walking to class at Faulkner University, when Amy Slauson (Newsom) and Jan Ellis (Lowery) greeted me in the lobby and told me that a plane had crashed into the World Trade Center. "Ok..." I thought. It was just a freak accident, right? I mean, no one was hurt, right? I walked into class & found a different story. The teacher, Sam Wallace, updated us. I remember being confused. Frightened. Angry. Sad. It was a very emotional day for me as the reality of the events unfolded. Classes were cancelled. I didn't know what I was supposed to do, so I walked back to my apartment on campus & called my dad on the way. He didn't really know what to say either. I watched the news footage & it slowly sank in what was happening. We were being attacked. Attacked? Why would anyone attack the U.S.A.? Doesn't everyone love America? Who doesn't appreciate freedom, democracy, patriotism? Of course, the answer to that question was obvious, but those thoughts still flooded my brain. The unity, patriotism, fear of God, and overall sense of camaraderie was evident in our country in the days & weeks that followed. That fervor has, as usual, faded since then. But this morning, as I listened to Rick & Bubba replay clips from their show on that fateful morning, I remembered. I felt the emotions all over again. And I am glad that I can still feel it.

{In case you missed my 09/11 post from last year, Click Here to view some photos of my trip to the World Trade Center.}

home deco updates

So I finally finished this project!! Here are some pics. And I also realized that many of you haven't seen our house since we redecorated after the tornado, so I'm posting a couple of other pics too.

{after the tornado, we had to replace our rug & throw pillows. and I bought a coffee table as a bonus. :-)}

{we recently inherited Baron's mom's old bedroom furniture, and we didn't need the mirrors in our room so I put them on the mantle}

{I did this painting a couple of months ago & I'm still not sure if I like it. obviously it doesn't bother me too much since it's still hanging in the kitchen. :-)}

pee in the pants excited

UPDATE: I should have included this in my original post, but I failed to do so. Here is the official movie site: http://www.twilightthemovie.com/
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ok, so first of all, shout out to Ashley for introducing Twilight to me. I am deeply involved in this book, and that does NOT happen often for me. I actually stayed up until 11:30 last night reading it, and I only went to bed at that point because I knew I had to get up for work this morning. Anyway, this book is the bomb.com (no I'm not a teenager) and I have Ashley to thank for it! Ok, here is the point of my post. Check it out...I CAN'T WAIT...

authenticity

I got this in a Purpose Driven Life daily devotional today & thought I'd share:


Authentic Friendships
by Rick Warren

*** *** *** ***
But if we live in the light, as God is in the light, we can share fellowship with each other. Then the blood of Jesus, God’s Son, cleanses us from every sin. If we say we have no sin, we are fooling ourselves, and the truth is not in us. 1 John 1:7–8 (NCV)

*** *** *** ***

In Christian fellowship people should experience authenticity.

Authentic fellowship is not superficial, surface-level chit-chat. It’s genuine, heart-to-heart, sometimes gut-level, sharing.

It happens when people get honest about who they are and what is happening in their lives. They share their hurts, reveal their feelings, confess their failures, disclose their doubts, admit their fears, acknowledge their weaknesses, and ask for help and prayer.

Authenticity is the exact opposite of what you find in many churches. Instead of an atmosphere of honesty and humility, there is pretending, role-playing, politicking, superficial politeness, and shallow conversation.

People wear masks, keep their guard up, and act as if everything is rosy in their lives. These attitudes are the death of real friendship.

It’s only as we become open about our lives that we experience authentic fellowship. The Bible says, “If we live in the light, as God is in the light, we can share fellowship with each other. . . . If we say we have no sin, we are fooling ourselves” (1 John 1:7–8 NCV).

The world thinks intimacy occurs in the dark, but God says it happens in the light. We tend to use darkness to hide our hurts, faults, fears, failures, and flaws. But in the light, we bring them all out into the open and admit who we really are.

Of course, being authentic requires both courage and humility. It means facing our fear of exposure, rejection, and being hurt again.

Why would anyone take such a risk?

Because it’s the only way to grow spiritually and be emotionally healthy. The Bible says, “Make this your common practice: Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you can live together whole and healed” (James 5:16 MSG).

if at first you don't succeed...take a break!

Several of you have asked me how our "baby making" efforts have been going. Well, obviously, they aren't working. :-) But, to keep you up to date on what we've been doing, here's a recap of what we've been through up to this point. {If you aren't interested, feel free to skip over this post. I won't be offended. Much. ;-)} This is partly for you to know what's going on with us, partly to help anyone out there who might be going through the same thing, and partly for my own benefit so I can have a journal of what we've been through. Ok, back on track...

In September 2006, Baron & I (ok really it was mostly me, and I talked Baron into it) decided we were ready to start trying to have a baby. I stopped taking my birth control, and at first my attitude was "we won't try, but we won't not try". That didn't last long. I was counting days & reading online articles about how to get pregnant after the first month.

For several months, I was discouraged that I wasn't pregnant yet, but I also realized that it takes most couples up to a year to get pregnant. So I was ok. Until the one-year mark started getting close. I started charting, taking my basal temperature, and doing the at-home ovulation predictor tests. Everything appeared normal, and I still wasn't pregnant. Then I decided to pursue this thing a little more. I talked to my doctor about what to do next {this is my new doctor; I had switched because my other gyno doesn't deliver babies anymore & I thought I would need an OB soon...little did I know}. That's when I started having blood work done once a month to check my progesterone level. {Your progesterone is at a certain level when you get to day 21 of your cycle, if you ovulated successfully.} Every month, my progesterone level was normal. My doctor suggested I try Clomid, because sometimes you can be ovulating "regularly" but not necessarily "effectively", and Clomid can sometimes help. Well, I took the lowest dose that Clomid is administered in {50 mg}, and when I went in for my 21-day progesterone blood work, my levels were WAY too high. Just looking at my test results, my nurse actually thought I might be pregnant...with twins. Yikes. So the Clomid had overstimulated my ovaries, which can cause ovarian cysts, so I didn't take Clomid anymore. Also during this time, Baron was tested {guys only have one test they have to take...while us girls have like a million...BOOOO...} and his test results were normal.

The next step was to have a hysterosalpingogram {HSG}, which is a procedure to determine if your Fallopian tubes are blocked. At that time, it was November {2007} and nearing the holiday season, and the nurse said it could be hard to schedule the procedure with the doctors going on vacation, and the procedure has to be done at a certain time of the month, yadda yadda yadda, so I opted not to do it at that time. Well, in January 2008, while I was at Last Hour chaperoning a bunch of teenagers, I had what I can only describe as a knock on the noggin. {Click here to read my previous post about it.} This was a major spiritual experience for me, because I had finally felt at peace with waiting on God's plan in my life. I was ok with waiting.

The only problem with me at that point in time is that I was only thinking of myself. I was ok with waiting, but I hadn't even considered Baron's feelings. When a couple struggles with infertility, that's just it: the couple struggles. I was so focused on how well I was doing that I hadn't even thought of how Baron was doing. And I found out in March that he wasn't as keen on waiting as I was. I just didn't even realize how badly he wanted a baby. So, I called up my doctor and scheduled the HSG. I was very nervous because I didn't quite know what to expect. My appointment was in April, and when I got to the hospital, I got myself so worked up & nervous over the procedure that I passed out after it was over. Yep, I'm a wimp. The procedure wasn't even that bad. I'm just a wimp. :-) But the good news is that the test was normal. My tubes aren't blocked.

So now what? I got a call from Dr. Dupre later that week, and he told me I had two options. (1) Go back on Clomid, but cut the pills in half to get a lower dosage, or (2) have laparoscopic surgery to give the doctor a chance to "look around" inside me. Dr. Dupre said I am at a very low risk for finding anything in a laparoscopy, so of course I opted to try Clomid again.

I was on Clomid from May through July, when I decided to stop taking it. For a couple of reasons: first of all, Clomid has a few possible side effects, one of which is hot flashes, and let me tell you - those about drove me crazy. I do NOT look forward to menopause after experiencing those.

The other reason I decided to come off Clomid: I need a break. It's been almost 2 years since we started trying, and it's tiring. It's emotionally and mentally stressful, and I am ready to quit. Honestly, part of me wants to just give up altogether. I know that will change, so instead of calling this "quitting" I'm calling it a "break". And to be honest, it is a huge relief to know that for at least a few months, I won't be taking Clomid, or getting blood work, or watching the calendar, or paying attention to my cervical fluid {sorry, TMI}, or scheduling sex {sorry, TMI again}, or having a procedure done. Whew.

---------------------------------------------------------

More info:

Overview of Infertility
RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association
Home Remedies for Infertility
Estrogen Dominance
Natural Horomone Balancing

what a baby!

IOC weighs action against Swedish wrestler
By the Associated Press

Posted Thursday, August 14, 2008 11:17 PM ET

BEIJING (AP) - A Swedish wrestler who dropped his bronze medal in disgust could face sanctions from the International Olympic Committee.

Swedish wrestler Ara Abrahamian throws his bronze medal to the mat in protest to the officiating in his semifinal match.

The IOC said Friday it had opened a disciplinary investigation into the actions of Ara Abrahamian, who lost to gold-medalist Andrea Minguzzi of Italy in the semifinals of the men's 84kg Greco-Roman event.

During the medal ceremony Abrahamian took the bronze from around his neck and, in disgust, dropped it on the mat as he walked away.

The disciplinary commission is looking into this," said an IOC spokeswoman, Emmanuelle Moreau. "They are in touch with the international federation to get all the facts."

Moreau said it was unclear what type of punishment Abrahamian could face.

Abrahamian had to be restrained from going after the matside officials following his loss to Minguzzi. He stormed away from the mixed zone where interviews are conducted and slammed a door to the dressing rooms so hard it shook an entire wall. He weighed whether to skip the bronze medal match, only to have friends talk him into competing.

"I wanted to take gold, so I consider this Olympics a failure," he said.

{Click Here for original story & video}

new fave lip gloss!

Nivea Kiss of Shine Pink Glossy Lip Care. LOVE IT.

precious kiddos

Last week, Baron's sister and nieces were in town to visit Baron's mom. They came over one night for dinner, and I got this cute video of Emma and Ella playing "ring around the swimming pool" with my exercise hoop:

Also, this weekend we had the bible department from PCA over for dinner, and that included 4 kids who some how snuck into the "forbidden room" (aka Baron's man room) and discovered our camera. This is the result of their discovery. Sneaky little devils! :-)

cheeky baby!!

One of my good friends and former college roommates, Jan (Ellis) Lowery had a baby last week. (To read the long & grueling story of her birthing experience, click here. It's...interesting, to say the least.) Anyway I wanted to share a picture of Lainey Wynn Lowery - she has got the cutest chubby cheeks ever!!

one man's trash...

We have high ceilings in our living room, and for awhile now, I have been dissatisfied with the picture/sconce combo hanging above our sofa. The picture is horizontal, not very tall, and does not complement the high ceilings at all. So, I've been searching for something inexpensive to do (artwork is pricey and Baron & I are cheapskates). Anyway, I stumbled upon this idea in Martha Stewart's Blueprint magazine (I love this magazine, and just as I was introduced to it by my co-worker, she informed me that it was discontinued...boooo), and this is what I've decided to do:

{Click Here to read the article}

I have already started to collect my frames from local flea markets, and I will paint them once I have my collection complete. Here's my question: what color do you think I should paint them? Our couch is sort of a dark green (not hunter, but not sage...) and the walls are neutral. I thought about a bluish-green or yellowish green, but I am very indecisive. Should I go bold for a stark contrast against the neutral wall, or should I go more subdued since my sofa is a dark color? Thoughts?

the ultimate trophy husband!

50 things I love about my husband:

1. The way he makes me laugh.
2. He ALWAYS opens the car door for me. (I don’t think he’ll ever know how much this means to me!)
3. He doesn’t pick fights.
4. How incredibly cute he is when he smiles.
5. He doesn’t talk bad about me to other people.
6. I don’t have a reason to talk bad about him to other people.
7. He is a spiritual leader at his job, to our friends, at our church, and in our home.
8. How disciplined he is about exercising. (Fortunately my blatant laziness doesn’t rub off on him!)
9. He tells me when I look nice.
10. Sometimes he makes the bed for me.
11. He doesn’t get mad when I pick on him for leaving his shoes out.
12. He does laundry & dishes without me asking him to.
13. We have the MOST fun doing our Celine Dion impersonations.
14. He handles our finances very responsibly.
15. He is an awesome example for me by the way he has lived his life.
16. He makes me want to be a better wife.
17. Teenagers look up to him. (And not just literally!)
18. Adults look up to him.
19. I am proud of the man he is because of what he has been through in his life, and I am VERY proud of the work he is doing at PCA.
20. He goes to Wal-Mart for me when I don’t feel like going. (Which turns out to be quite often…)
21. We get to have ice cream a lot because he loves it so much.
22. He cherishes his mother.
23. He has rediscovered a relationship with his father.
24. How he plays with children – he will make an amazing father!
25. When he goes out of town, he leaves me little notes to remind me that he loves me.
26. He respects me.
27. He is SUPER talented with his sports figures. Seriously – I am constantly impressed by his work! (And I get offended when customers don't show their appreciation - not naming any names!)
28. I am truly happy to be married to him.
29. His height. (that’s hottt)
30. He is super attractive.
31. How much fun we have when we go on trips together.
32. He cuts the grass.
33. If I ask him (nicely, of course) to do something for me, he is always willing to do it.
34. He is patient with me, even when I am moody.
35. He cares about other people.
36. He is a really good teacher, whether it’s at church or at school.
37. He lets me give him fashion advice.
38. When I told him I wanted to start trying to have a baby, he reluctantly agreed, but now he wants a baby just as much as I do. And even though he gets frustrated that we are struggling to get pregnant, he is WAY more patient than I am.
39. He makes really good tuna salad.
40. We have survived 3 hurricanes and a tornado together.
41. It makes me happy that I talked him into us getting a dog, and now Toby is Baron’s best friend.
42. He is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy.
43. My family loves him.
44. I love his family.
45. He is the most dependable person I know.
46. His “man room” at the house is finally presentable.
47. He helps me clean the house when I ask him to.
48. Steamroller!
49. He is physically strong.
50. He considers me a blessing after a really tough previous relationship, and he is open about telling other people what a blessing I am. I have done nothing to deserve him but we are absolutely perfect together!

{this list could go on & on, but I cut it short so as not to take too much of your time :-)}

wilderness

Have you ever felt called by God to fulfill a role? Ministers, missionaries, teachers, doctors...God calls people to so many different roles. I've never felt "called" by God to take any specific career path. That is, until I began to feel the strongest instinct I've ever felt - a desire to become a mother (yes, I do consider motherhood a career!). Almost 2 years ago, Baron & I decided it was time to start a family. God had a different plan for our lives. So, I have felt this calling from God...and I have to wait for it. Have you ever experienced that? It's like when you answer the phone, and the person on the other end says "hang on" as soon as you answer. Wait a minute - you called me! Why do I have to "hang on"? What sense does it make for God to call me to something and then make me wait for it? I thought about this question the other day, and it suddenly hit me that Baron has been through that same experience, and he was much more patient than I was. While he was working at Alfa, he knew that God wanted him to be in ministry. But at the same time, he also heard God telling him "Wait." So Baron waited, and God provided. I had no idea at the time what a wonderful example he would be for me. It is a little easier for me to "wait" on God having seen an example (through Baron's life) of the awesome blessings on the other side of waiting.


Please continue to pray for us. In my head & my heart I know this is God's will for our lives, and that provides me with so much peace...but I still get frustrated, upset, and confused at times. Thanks for the continued prayers!

pest control

We've hired a new pest control guy. Check him out:

therapy.

I had a bad day today. I've had a rough 3 weeks at work, and then yesterday it finally got better, and then today was a bad day. And since Baron is out of town until tomorrow, I didn't have him to come home & vent to & be comforted...so...I went shopping. :-) Here is my therapy - new bedding! Shhhh...Baron doesn't know about it yet. :-)